Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Why I don't masturbate (anymore)

Since I was 12, I masturbated every day. Two times, three times a day or more. I needed it.
Even when I had my first girlfriend, I could not keep my fingers off my dick.

I once had girlfriends who just loved sex. She brought me to my physical limits which in my youth were very high. We did it in bed, in the shower, in the kitchen, in the car, in public places, you name it. During weekdays, I could recover while I was at the university, but on a normal weekend she gave me 4 hours between two orgasms. But often it would be more; she just loved to bring me to my limits. Still, with all this abundant and grant sex she was giving, I wanted to masturbate! Whenever I had recovered enough and she left me unattended, I touch myself.
I was addicted to masturbation!

Eventually, we split up and I returned to my old masturbation frequency: Once or twice in the morning and then again before I go to sleep. I kept this up until, well, until I realized that I was addicted.

It was during a business trip last year when I decided to stop. Well, I did not stop entirely. Twice a day, I touched myself for 15 minutes sharp, but without orgasm. I played tease and deny with myself. When the 15 minutes were over, I stopped. I stayed in bed for five more minutes with my eyes closed, relaxing every muscle in my body. I took deep and steady breaths. After that was refreshed and awake like a new born child. All tiredness gone. Feeling awake and terribly sexy (but not horny!). I guess this is what Tantra is about.

When I came back home after a week, my balls were bursting. That night my wife was touching me and I told her what I was very horny and that I was about to explode. She loved my excitement and made me cum within seconds. Princess was amazed by the amount of fluid and the force with which it shot out of my penis. And so was I.

Immediately after, she inquired what I had done to accumulate such an amount of semen. I told her. At first, she did not believe me. Why should she, for she knew that I usually masturbated at least twice a day. So I had to explain again and again that I wanted to save my orgasm for her.

Princess was touched. She kissed me and said "I really appreciate that you did this for me."

This orgasms was special because I had saved it for her. On that day I decided to give her all my orgasms as a gift. For a few weeks, I continued to touch myself, but eventually I asked her whether she would like to own my penis.

"What do you mean, own?" she asked.
"It means that you can touch it whenever you like, for as long as you like. It is yours and I will not touch it. It is a token of my love and devotion for you. Do you want it?", I asked her.
She agreed emphatically.

Since then, I have not masturbated again. I just stopped it. I nether thought that I could do it. But I can. Now, whenever I feel the urge, I think of Princess and how much I love her. I remind myself that it is her property that I would be touching without her consent.

Several times she has told me how much she appreciates my self-enforced chastity. It makes her proud that I save myself just for her.
"It makes me proud what you do for me and I admire your self control" she said during a longer period without sex.
Sometimes it is very hard for me, but because she appreciates what I do for her, I keep my promise.

Staying chaste is one way to show how much I love her. It is a sacrifice for her, a symbolic deed that reminds her every day that I surrender my penis and myself to her.

Staying chaste is also a way to show my solidarity when she is not in the mood. It shows that I am close to her.

Isn't it hard for me to have less orgasms? Sometimes it is, but I am happier and more satisfied than ever. When I masturbate, my orgasms are not satisfying. They satisfy my need to masturbate, but never my desire to be loved and touched. There is no substitute for the touch of my Princess. Now all my orgasms are exceptional. I only cum when she wants it. Only she makes me cum. And when she does, I feel that I am truly hers.

2 comments:

Achatz said...

Thank you for this post. I couldn't agree more to what you found out. There is much more relish in life for a man who 'doesn't' and for his Lady too. I'm sure a lot of relationships would improve, when men could come to terms with this addiction.

The Virgin said...

It definitely feels better to save the reserves sometime. Sounds a lot better with a partner than with yourself, obviously :)