Sunday, March 23, 2008

A rant on female superiority

If you look around on the web, you find many forums, blogs, and web sites that advocate female led relationships. All of them are interesting, some are constructive, but often you find quite exaggerated claims that women are superior and that by their natural superiority, women should first rule the marriage and next the world.

So here comes my rant that I need to get off my soul:

Women are not superior! Again? Women are not superior!

Neither are men. We don't want to go back to gender discrimination and sexism, do we?

It is a nice fantasy that all women are superior and that FLR is the natural state into which every relationship sooner or later slips. Please excuse my directness, but this is bullshit. How would you define superiority anyway? And how often have you seen it happen?

Of course, if you search for evidence of FLR and wife-led marriages, you will find them more than you did before. But this does not mean that everybody is now baptized with the holy waters of the Female Goddess. It just means that your view has shifted to one flavor of relationships. In statistics this is called a biased sample. It does not mean that other partnership flavors do not exist anymore or are declining.

Several well known web mistresses claim that we men are susceptible to conditioning. That maybe true. But, where they are wrong and sexist is that they claim it is only us men. The reward system in our brains works the same for men and women. Be it at a neurological level or at the psychological level. So please spare us the sexism.

Domination is not the prerogative of a gender. It is no right of birth. And submission is not the fate of the male sex. Submissiveness and dominance are personal character traits. Maybe every man has a submissive trait, I don't know. But I know that men have a dominant trait that gave us the verb "to dominate". Maybe women have a dominant trait as well, who knows.

Submission is a gift in return for love and care.
I submit to my Princess, because She is special. Would I submit to another woman? Maybe, if she is worth it, maybe not. I have had several long lasting relationships and in none of them did it ever occur to me to submit to my then girlfriend. We simply broke up.

The right to dominate must be earned.


I fully, truly and completely love Princess. This is the only reason why she has the right to rule over me as completely as I love her.

8 comments:

s said...

Urmel,

I doubt any reasonable person would argue with you. Female superiority is obviously absurd, fantasy-driven drivel. Does anybody really take this seriously?

What's interesting is that you say it never occurred to you to submit to any of the women you were involved with before your wife. Is that really true? You never had fantasies of sexual submission to any previous girlfriends?

Personally, over my entire life, virtually all of my sexual fantasies involve some submissive act, if only a symbolic one.

P. Urmel said...

S, don't get me wrong, I did have submissive fantasies all my life, but it never occurred to me to act them out.
The reason is probably, that during my early dating I discovered that most girls wanted a strong, dominant boyfriend. Whenever I acted submissive, I was just always "nice guy", the boy a girl would never loose virginity to.

So I adapted my behavior to their taste. I had more success with the girls, but my submissiveness was pushed to the realm of fantasy.

Susan's Pet said...

Urmel,

I could have written all of this. In fact, I have covered much of it on my blog. So I am in complete agreement.

One of the subjects that I have not addressed is well expressed by you words, "... But I know that men have a dominant trait that gave us the verb 'to dominate'. Maybe women have a dominant trait as well, who knows...."

I think that men, or women, who want to get their way, try things in a relationship with one or more persons. When it works, they use that as an experience, and continue to refine it. This is called cybernetics, or "goal orineted behavior." If, on the long run, it gets the job done, they are de-facto "dominant".

Susan's Pet said...

On a different subject: the picture that you have just posted in the sidebar as part of your profile is awsome. Not that I am the little thing of the male there, but I love the voluptuous thighs, the context, the stylized beauty of the female who is obviously getting what she wants. It is so appropriate to us serving a deserving woman!

P. Urmel said...

S.P. Thanks for the comments and the info.

I agree with you that it is best to let positive experience be our guide and teacher.

I actually cannot follow your reference to "Cybernetics". I know it as a branch of engineering, founded by Norbert Wiener, that gave birth to modern robotics.

The picture is by Namio Harukawa (look at wikipedia for more info). Some are much more drastic. I loved the intimacy in this one and I am glad you like it two.

Before that I had a picture from Lysistrata, a female figure from an ancient play by Aristophanes. She used Orgasm Denial to end the Peleponesian Wars.

Thanks again.
Urmel

Tam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

About female superiority, I totally agree. We do this because it's hot, not because women are better. The only thing that bugs me more than this is the other thing you mentioned - the belief that all hetero relationships are secretly woman-led. Yuck.

Unknown said...

I disagree and agree. The average man is physically stronger than the average woman, we all agree, right? Does that then make us superior? No. But women are smarter, there's been many scientific studies, and it's true. I am considered by others and myself well above average intelligence yet the females in my life still edge me when all added up. Women are quietly enrolling more and getting more degrees than men are. This is leading to the average woman having a higher salary than the average man. Soon the average relationship will be the woman going off to work while the man is the househusband. Scientifically women are also more creative, nurturing, and surprisingly stronger as in endurance, emotionally, and psychologically. So not across the board but women are better than men, or you might say, 'superior'. But men are still physically stronger, yet intelligence will almost always trump brute strength. There's even some women I know that want the dominant man, the aggressive sex, yet in all of their relationships they are still the ones that get want they want; basically leading the relationship from the bottom. Not across the board, nor in every aspect, but I see that women are superior.