Thursday, March 13, 2008

Orgasm control (2)

Princess has developed a beautiful technique to tease and deny me. She will start when I still have my boxers on. She gently strokes over my penis. Just enough so that it does not tickle. She enjoys how I react. She loves to feel it grow. While she does this, her head rest on my chest. She can feel my breath, she can hear my heart, its beat resonating in my chest. Faster with every touch.
"You want to take these off?" she will whisper eventually, pulling my boxers down just a bit. Moments later I am nude.

Princess takes hold of her property and firmly grips my balls. My penis replies with a quick jump. Then Princess resumes caressing my penis. Just the tips of her fingers. Gently up the shaft to the tip. Then down again. Another firm pull on the balls to make sure I don't fall asleep. Now I am ready for more, but she goes on gently. This goes on for minutes. I drift away. I float in a pleasurable state that will never reach orgasm.
When I don't expect it, she takes my penis in her hand. One, two, three quick strokes. Just enough to elevate me closer to the climax. But never getting there. When I have just realized what has happened, she will slow down again. I float again. A bit closer to climax than before, but still not there.
Suddenly she gets up. Will she deny me tonight? Should I be happy that the lives my fantasy, or should I beg her to continue?

But instead of turning around, she bends down and takes my throbbing member in her warm mouth. Her heat and softness drive me crazy. With her soft lips she brings me to the brink of orgasm. She grips the base of my penis and moves her mouth up and down a few times. I'm almost there. She knows it. My tip is like a red ripe cherry. She kisses it.
"Good night beautiful penis." she says and turns around to sleep.

The next evening I hope that the story continues, but she is too tired. I can feel the tension in my balls. The following night, she invites me to make love. I am in heaven as I dive into her wetness. In the recent weeks, I have tried to last longer when we make love. There are some techniques that work well for me. She likes it rough, so I start fast. Usually, this desensitizes me and I can go on for a long time. Or I try to put myself in her position. I imagine what it feels like to be her. This helps me to anticipate what she might like next and it diverts the attention from my own approaching climax.

But today nothing works. I am just too loaded and after just a couple of minutes I have to tell her that we must slow down. I feel defeated. I want to be her lasting lover.
"Please go on" she says, "it feels so good when you come." and so I do.

Later I ask her "I hope it was good for you?"
"Yes, very good. But I think you need more orgasms to last longer."

What should I say now? Is there anything the will not offend her? And, do I want more orgasms? Isn't the idea about submission to be denied? Every orgasm is well earned?

"I have as many orgasms as you wish" I finally answer. She seems happy with this answer.

But now I am thinking. Why are we so keen on being denied? Is it the lack of sex that drives us into submission and then we turn denial into a fetish? I am not sure.

I imagine what it would be like if I had many orgasms. I imagine what it would be like if she ordered me to masturbate to orgasm every day. Not for my pleasure, but to make me last longer when we make love. Like you walk your dog around the block so that it can pee she will walk me to the toilet to masturbate under her supervision.

This fantasy turned me on. I keep thinking about it all the time. So at least for me it is not being denied that is arousing, it is being controlled. If my orgasms are controlled by Her, I feel incredibly submissive.

Deep inside I have a strong desire to be owned, to be treated like I am owned. Whatever gives me this feeling is fine. If she denies me I have this feeling, but also if she orders me to masturbate to exhaustion. By contrast, I get frustrated if I feel that she does not care. Fortunately, this gets less and less. The more care about her, the more she cares about me.

4 comments:

At all Times said...

Great description of how your wife teased you to the edge but denied you that final pleasure. I'm still not sure why so many wives seem to find teasing and denial such a difficult thing to deal with.

MJ's Slave said...

urmel,
Thanks for visiting Master's blog. i am still working on a post about the issue you brought up. It is taking me some time..not sure if it's writer's block, or too busy with service.

i read here this morning and find the struggles of a slave to be remarkably similar. The one question i have is how did you come to this after so many years together? i would think it might be difficult to follow the path after the roles being defined by the passage of time. i admire you both for being willing to attempt a new way of being and growing together.

i guess i can't confine myself to one question..number two...does your wife know you keep this blog?

Feel free to ask me any questions..and i'll do better than the one i am struggling with...your question "Is it possible to take pleasure only from giving pleasure to your owner?"

That is a complicated one (i am a woman after all!!) and i am doing my best to answer it sincerely. It's the "only" that is hanging me up! lol!

Have a great weekend! W/we added your journal to O/our blog roll.

~slave nik

Urmel said...

AAT,
it took my wife a while to understand that T&D increases the pleasure for the man. And for her it is very convenient. She likes to touch me, but sometimes she is too tired for more. Before T&D, she would not touch me when she was tired, because she did not know whether she wanted to finish me. T&D gave her the freedom to decide at any tome how far she goes. She can start touching me and stop at any time. This was the reason why she fully embraced T&D.

Nik,

thanks for your long reply. Please allow me to answer your first question in a separate post, for it is a long answer. To your second question. No, Princess does not know about this blog. I am not even sure she knows what a blog is. But I try to keep it such that I can show it to her one day. And I will.

Thanks also for the offer to come back with more questions. I certainly will. I feel there is a lot I can learn from you.

Slave2JS said...

Urmel...

thank you for having this blog. i have many sub/slave sisters, but have yet to read about a sub brother. i am fascinated with learning about submission from the male side, and look forward to getting to know you better.

slave2JS