My Princess knows my desire to be her obedient slave. But sometimes I feel the desire to dominate her. It is as if I have two personalities - the slave and the master. I must be in either of the two modes. If I am in between, I feel frustrated.
Before Christmas, we had started a trial period where only she was allowed to initiate sex. It worked fine for a while, but then she got frustrated by this responsibility. She wanted me to take initiative. She wanted me to be in control.
She told me literally "You can fuck me whenever you want to, day and night."
In the past, she would often refuse my approaches, so I was surprised by this offer.
But I accepted it. I took control and approached her whenever I was horny. We made love when I wanted to. She enjoyed my forcefulness.
But only for two days. Then she made it clear that she needed days without sex. Since then I am reverting to submissive mode and I let her decide what is happening.
Now she seems to be more comfortable to be in charge of our sex life, but she still has problems to focus on her pleasure. Although she does not want to, she falls back into the old pattern of pleasing me.
One example. Often she is too tired in the evenings for sex, but she enjoys cuddling and touching. So we undress and I gently stroke her back to help her relax. In return she will touch my member. But this brings her into the routine of masturbating me. Although she is too tired, she feels obliged to bring me to orgasm. By now I can tell when she is in this mood and I remind her in nice words that she can stop at any time. I remind her that my sexuality is her property and it is her privilege to do with it whatever she likes. Usually she excuses herself and goes to sleep.
But I think she still needs more time to get used to the idea that I don't need an orgasm every time we touch. After I pressured her for such a long time to satisfy me needs, she cannot get used to the idea that I suddenly enjoy denial.
The latest improvement is that she will allow me to touch myself, but without allowing me to orgasm. Before that she would try to convince me that orgasms are good and that I should masturbate to orgasm.
When we make love she usually insists that I come first. She obviously enjoys seeing me in the state of ecstasy. I think it will be a long way until she will deny me an orgasm when we make love.
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Thoughts and experiences of a husband who serves his wife to make her the happiest woman on earth.
2 comments:
Maybe you should just accept that she does not have the dominant spice in her personality. I had to make this experience with my wife. She played along sometimes, but never got seriously into it. I think that there's always hope, that you just need to press the right buttons.
Nowadays, I retreated into silent servitude, where I do most of the chores at home and pleasure her the best way possible, regardless of any reward. In the end, this is a true, loving submission.
I am curious to see where your journey will lead to and wish you all the best for the new year and all that comes!
Thanks for your encouraging comment. My thoughts go in the same direction and obviously I am also curious where this will lead us.
What encourages me is that my wife is very understanding and sympathetic with my feelings. I think one has to distinguish being dominant from taking the initiative. I have the feeling that my wife likes to be in control, but at the same time she does not like to take initiative.
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