Control versus initiative

My wife likes to be in control. Often, when I propose how we should do this or that around the house, she will present her solution. And in many cases she has considered some circumstances that escaped my attention. So she obviously plans many things ahead. If I agree to her solution without long discussions, she is noticeably pleased. Likewise, she will defend her ideas. This keeps my hope alive that she will some day assume her position as head of the family.

At the same time my wife does not like to take initiative. She does not like to tell me what to do.

My wife expects that I know what to do without being told, even in the bedroom. After I first confessed my submissive fantasies to her, I stopped my sexual advances and waited until she would make the first move. But very quickly she became frustrated and told me that I should take the initiative. She wishes me to approach her as often as I feel the need. This does not mean that she will always play along. More often than not she will reject my advances. This used to leave me frustrated and rejected. But then I realized, that my wife separated control from initiative, while I did not. Whenever I took initiative, I also wanted to be in control. Whenever I was the active part, I fell fall back into my old macho patterns.

After a long conversation with my Princess, I have learned that she wants to see how much I desire her. With every advance for sex that I make, I give her the opportunity to exercise her power. If she wishes that I try to initiate sex as often as I feel and I will obey. And if she wishes to reject me most of the time, I can nurture my submissive feelings from the humiliation that I feel in these situations.