It is now almost two months since things have turned around. Two months since I am head of the house. Two months in which Princess was so eager to fulfill my wishes.
We are two submissive minds. So alike, but yet so different.
I am away from home on a business trip. Enough time to think about my marriage and my feelings. Time to think about my desire to make my wife happy. My desire to surrender my wishes so Princess can have hers.
On the plane I tried to sleep. But instead I fell into this strange state where you are neither asleep nor awake. Vivid sexual fantasies flushed my brain. Incoherent pieces of violent sex with Princess and other women. I was immersed in a world lust without limits. I was feasting in a mental "all you can fuck" buffet. I was not aware of it until I woke up. But all the time, I was strangely aware of my painful erection. It pressed hard against my belly. Its heat radiated through my entire body.
I can't remember how long I slept, but when I woke up I was soaking wet. Fortunately the seat next to me was vacant. My erection would not subside. Only then did I remembered what I had dreamed. I was shocked and confused. I went to the bathroom to restore myself. There I noticed the semen that was dripping from of my penis. I don't think I ever had such a vivid dream.
I spent the rest of the trip thinking about our marriage and I realized that I start to enjoy my role. I enjoy controlling her. I enjoy watching her. I enjoy the pleasure she gets out of being fucked. I enjoy the freedom and control over my own sexuality.
But I also realized that something is still missing. If Princess wants me to be in charge, it should be on my terms. Otherwise it does not feel right. I noticed that as soon as Princess is contradicting any of my wishes, I fall back into submissive mode. I become her servant again. It is the role that I would prefer, but that she does not like.
So if I am to be in charge, I must learn to stand my ground and she must acknowledge my authority. Princess must officially declare her surrender to me as her husband. She must empower me to be her master.
When I arrived at my hotel, I wrote a long email to Princess, essentially writing what I have written here. I told her that I enjoyed the current state, but that I feel unsure how we should continue. Carefully I asked her if she would like to be my "property". If she would be willing to obey my orders, to serve me and to treat me respectfully as her owner. In return I offered her to take full responsibility for her well being.
I read the mail once more and realized how self centered it was. A long list of her duties, what she must do for me without complaint, and how she must demonstrate her submission to me in everyday life. I thought it over. I deleted the mail. Retrieved it again. Thought once more and decided that this is what Princess wants.
After I had sent the mail, I was anxious for her reply. I knew that she does not check her private mail regularly, maybe once a day.
I found her response the next morning. It was short:
"Since you are in charge I am much happier that before. I would love to be your property. You are my life!"
I can't properly describe my first reaction to her clear message. I expected a long letter of mixed statements. The best words to describe my feelings are love and responsibility.
So we are entering a new stage. I am not sure how much of this will work out. And I am also nervous. Will I live up to my part of the promise. Will Princess will keep her part of the deal when we are back in the daily routine?
Right now I am very proud and enjoy my role - more than I expected. For all my friends who try to establish a WLM, this my be encouraging.
Domination can be fun. To see and experience how Princess enjoys it, it is deeply satisfying for me. It makes me proud to serve her this way.
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3 comments:
Princess is very lucky you are so thoughtful and caring. Your life together can only continue to blossom under your careful tutelage.
There isn't much else to do on long plane journeys than let the mind flow and lust is far more enjoyable than logic.
As a would be submissive male you should know better than most about what it is that your wife now seeks from you. Although not an easy transition from sub to dom, if you are prepared to do this for your wife, you should ask her to tell what it is that she likes and dislikes, what it is that she would like you to do for her, to her etc.and then act on it. How much easier would it have been if your wife had done the same for you when you were submitting to her.
Cant wait to see how things develop. Its a good job security didn't want to know what you were hiding in your trousers on the plane, in case they thought it was a bomb....!!
Thanks for your comments. Indeed, I think I know what my Princess desires, yet I requires a good amount of strength to actually do it. To overcome those imprinted or educated inhibitions and force her to obey - to take her against her will; even if you know that this is what she wants.
I feel I still need her encouragement to continue on that path. But the only feedback I get is her obedience. I must learn to trust my feelings, but that is difficult.
AAT - I had a bomb, but none that the security would like to defuse :-))
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