Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Subbing from the top

In my previous posts I have mentioned, that our sex life has been a bit dormant lately. Mainly because Princess has been working so much that she was too exhausted for nearly everything.

Well, last Friday I again expected a quiet night. I was kneeling in bed next to princess, gently caressing her back. She had closed her eyes and slowly drifted away, obviously enjoying my touch. And I was content as well, because I could please my Princess. In a second, she would turn around, kiss me good night, and fall asleep. Tomorrow morning she would weak up, relaxed and awake, and we would make passionate love for the first time in days.

Then, to my surprise, I felt her hand on my penis, lightly stroking me through my underwear. Within seconds I was hard. I undressed and straddled her, so that she could access me better. It was heaven and very excited.

She masturbated me with slow, but steady strokes, her other hand firmly cupping my balls. She knew how excited I was and increased her pace. I tried to relax, so that I don't come to early, but after two more stokes, I could not hold back any longer. Just a minute after she started, I had to concede. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the force of my orgasm.
When I opened my eyes again, I was surprised by the amount of cum on her chest.

After I cleaned up, she put her head on my chest. I felt the need to apologize, because I came so quickly and that I did not service her in any way.

"Don't be sorry," she said, "I love it when you can't control yourself. And I love when you come on me".
There it was again. Does she want me to dominate her? I did not comment on this, but enjoyed the moment of love and closeness. I gently caressed her while I relaxed.
But Princess was now awake and wanted to talk. So we talked. We talked about our days at work, the kids, well, we talked about everything.

Eventually our conversation turned back to sex, or rather the recent lack of it. Princess stressed how much she suffers when we don't make love often enough. And she thanked me for being so patient. I took this opportunity to see if she wants me to take more initiative, because she has mentioned this a couple of times. So I said "I missed you as well, in fact I was having rape fantasies." Maybe this was a bit drastic, but I wanted to probe how dominant she would like me to be. I expected her to scold me for being so inconsiderate and tasteless.

But instead, she smiled and said "So next time rape me!"
"Are you serious?", I inquired
"Yes, next time you are horny, don't listen to me, just take me and fuck me."
"Ok", I said.
And then we made love. Long and passionately. Since I had just cum, I lasted long. I fucked her hard, for I knew that she wanted it and needed it.
When I finally came, she held me very tight, her fingers digging deep into my flesh.

I was sure that Princess now wanted me to pleasure her as well, but she denied and said she was fully satisfied and ready to sleep. So we did.

The rest of the weekend was different from the previous ones. Princess did not boss me around . No orders. No commands. Instead, she was very eager to do her share of the household chores. We made love several times more, in the mornings and in the evenings, making up for the lost opportunities.

Sexually, it was a very satisfying weekend, but I feel that we are moving away from a wife-led marriage towards the opposite. Princess is subbing from the top so to speak, and I am not sure how to react. Maybe I am a switch, maybe it is easier to change myself, then it is to change her....

But am I prepared to play the dominant role?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's an interesting development, probably her way of telling you that she wants to be treated more forcible by her man. Of course there is no reason why she should not have her own fantasies, and being raped, although a bit unusual, is not unheard of. Although this must go against your submissive nature, maybe you should try and dominate her for a change. Maybe it will be away of swapping fantasies and give you greater scope to have some of yours fulfilled that you may not have told her about.

MJ's Slave said...

urmel,
i have been reading as i find time and have given much thought to your situation.

It may be that you can adjust your sexuality to hers by viewing it as servicing her, rather than dominating her. If your Mistress "orders" you to forcefully take her, then are you not meeting her needs before your own?

i am not trying to make you rationalize, nor sublimate your own desires. It is just so clear to me that you adore your wife and am hoping you will find a way you can both be happy. It is clear that you both want more sex and that there is a growing intimacy between you, so if you can go with the flow and do her bidding i believe she will be most grateful and return to leading the way in other parts of life together.

She has had a taste of control and i doubt from what you have said that she will wish to totally give up the benefits. It is however a huge amount of work, emotionally, to meet the needs of us subs. It is a huge responsibility and in some ways goes against what most women have been taught is "normal". ei..the husband does the heavy lifting..

Good luck to you in your quest!

~s/nik

Ms RIka said...

Urmel,
I've got to say, I agree with mj's slave! If the intent of your aggression is to give her what she wants, she can enjoy her cake and eat it too!

You'll need to understand her motivation. If she's enjoying having you serve her (which includes being aggressive), she will not try to change your approach. If however,she wants to please you as the primary submission, then the roles truly have shifted...and you'll need to answer your question as to whether you are ready to have someone dedicate themselves to your needs.

This is an interesting situation and I'm anxious to read how it turns out. What I will say is, don't stress over it...try to find a place where you both can be happy. I suspect that will be with you submitting to her, providing aggressive sex in order to please her. Nothing wrong with that! :)

- Rika.

P. Urmel said...

Thanks for all your comments. They mean a lot to me and will of course try to fulfill Princess' desires.

AAT, your brought up an interesting aspect, which I did not see. Maybe this is a way to get to know her fantasies. One I do know now. And if I consider that I would not start with my darkest fantasy, I am not sure what other surprises Princess has in stock :-)

~s/nik, thanks for bringing up her perspective, the perspective of the Mistress. I can only imagine how much responsibility it is to own a slave. It is a situation that I desire, but that I have never been in. I can imagine that Princess struggles with her traditional role image and the role that I would like to see her in. She comes from a very traditional Christian background.

Ms Rika, your point is very well made. I was not aware of the difference between the need for aggressive sex and a possible desire to be dominated. And thinking about this, I am now sure that this is the reason why I am confused.

Urmel

Ms RIka said...

I certainly don't want to confuse you! Hopefully, recognizing this will help straighten things out for you! Coming to grips with what you really are asking for will help you position your approach and also help you to understand your partner's reaction to your requests!

MJ's Slave said...

urmel,
Have you thought about giving her some of the literature to read? She would be able to process what spoke to her and possibly get some ideas, plus see that you are not terminally unique in your desires.

From what you say, Princess probably has zero frame of reference for the exploration you are suggesting. Possibly if she realized how "normal" these desires truly are, she might be able to allow herself the freedom to explore her dominate nature. The things you say about her ordering you about and requiring you to serve her and guests in public make me believe she has at least a modicum of dominance within.

Good luck!

~nik

Ms RIka said...

Why does she order him around? This is the key question. Don't mistake being ordered around as being with someone who WANTS to order you around! She may do it out of frustration, anger, or both. You look at her behaviour as a dominant streak, she may look at it as a last resort.

As for giving her literature to read...be VERY careful what you select! Showing her images or stories of women to whom she cannot relate will backfire on you immediately. My recommendation is nothing with the words dominant or slave...stick to service-orientation and stick to things related to what she really likes. You can do more harm than good (long term) by going the "I'm not strange" route!
- Rika.