Friday, April 18, 2008

Confused

I am a bit confused at the moment by the way things develop in our marriage. There is progress both inside and outside the bedroom.

In daily life, Princess is getting more and more dominant. By now she is constantly bossing me around. She expects me to take care of the kids and the house without being asked. No more polite phrases. Just orders. Friendly, but direct. And she scolds me whenever she is displeased with my performance. Immediately, without any consideration that she may hurt my feelings.

Even when we have visitors, she instructs me to serve her and our guest. Even when I have guests, she will sit down with them and have me do all the work. She will say things like
"Urmel will serve dinner at 6" or
"Don't forget to start dinner soon, I'm hungry" or
"Urmel, drive our guest to the station."

My wife is obviously and openly taking charge of our life(s) and of mine. She enjoys the control. She enjoys that she needn't be polite with me. It is liberating for her to just say what she thinks and wants.

Now all these things are reasons to be happy. My strategy is working. Or is it.

I did not mention how our intimate life is developing. Quite the opposite actually. Despite the exciting interlude of her dominating me, she does not like to be dominant in bed. Whenever I am a bit forceful or passionate, she emphasizes how much it turns her on. She encourages me to be dominant. And obviously she uses the same strategy on me that I use on her! Positive reinforcement.

Last night she was tired and apologized for not being in the mood for sex. She put her head on my chest and we cuddled. I thought I give it a try and said:
"What a pity, i was feeling very dominant tonight. You like when I am dominant, don't you?"
She nodded and pressed herself against me. She was like a little girl in daddies arms.
I held her very tight, grabbed her hips and butt. I could feel that she was getting turned on, but since I knew that she was tired, I stopped and announced "Good night, Princess".

So what is this now? sub by day, Dom by night?

2 comments:

s said...

How interesting. The paradox: Does the dominant order the submissive to dominate? What does this mean?

That issue is discussed (briefly) in the Around Her Finger book and website (section on information for women). The advice to women is: It's fine to occasionally ask your man to dominate in bed...but be sure to quickly remind him afterward of who is in charge.

Of course, you can try to focus on the fact that you're serving her needs by feigning control in bed.

The question I have is: Would you be happy if she was overtly dominant outside the bedroom and always expected you to be dominant in the bedroom? That is, you would get no experiences at sexual submission, but you would certainly be submitting to her otherwise.

Tom Evans said...

I expect she was probably disappointed that you took her word for it that she was tired. Not very dominant, that.