How important is your sex drive?

My wife can go without sex for a long time. You can say she has a low sex drive. She has often denied me sex and I guess this has revived my dormant submissiveness.

I have written about my new goal to satisfy her in bed and to fulfill her wishes and fantasies. I think I am successful, because now whenever we have sex, I can feel and see that she enjoys it.

For example, last weekend she had two orgasms when we made love. It was the first time ever.
She started to initiate sex and asks me to make love to her more often. She says things like "We should do this more often" or "I need more sex". Instead of being denied she lets me cum in her mouth. In short, we have more sex and better sex.

So what about her low sex drive? Is it really important?
How much is the frequency of our intimate encounters actually determined by the sex drive?

I have developed a theory. It is probably wrong, but I like it and I will share it with you. Please feel free to disagree.

If your sex life is running at the frequency of her sex drive, she is probably not enjoying it.
Sex may then be just a bit better than the withdrawal symptoms.

If you stay with me for a while, I will try to elucidate my thinking.

There is a difference between how often I want sex and how often I need sex:

• I want sex, because I like it.
• I need sex, because of my sex drive, which in turn is upheld by my hormones.

My sex drive gives me the lower bound of my sex frequency. If I have less, I feel depressed. But long before I reach this lower bound I get restless and desperate.
How well I can cope with the withdrawal symptoms depends on the circumstances. For example, if my Princess is ill, I can tolerate the lack of sex more easily. I don't know my exact lower limit, but I think I need sex about once a week.

I want sex far more often than that. I want it three or four times a day. This was my masturbation frequency until I stopped about a month ago. Given the opportunity, I can increase the frequency up to my physical limits.

Why do I want more sex than I need? Because its fun. For me sex has always been great. No bad experiences and often I managed to get what I wanted. That's why I want more and more of it.

I think that

1. The amount of sex you need depends on your sex drive and how well you cope with withdrawal.
2. The amount of sex you want depends on the quality of your sex life and sexual history.

You can influence how often you have enjoyable sex. The better is gets the more you will have (up to a certain limit of course). But the inverse is also true. If your sex life is running at the frequency of her sex drive, she is probably not enjoying it. Sex may then be just a bit better than the withdrawal symptoms.

Used for pleasure.

Last week, Princess had a terrible flu. On the weekend, she had recovered somewhat, and on Saturday night I was grateful to receive a hand-job. I guess, she felt guilty that she had "neglected" me for a while.

She played her skillful tease-and-deny game with me. Perfect turns between slow and fast. Soon I was floating in ecstasy. But after only a few minute she increased her pace and kept it up. Obviously she was tired and wanted to get "it over with". As I was approaching my orgasms I felt disappointed that after a week of abstinence I was going to cum so quickly.

Maybe I should have let her continue. Maybe I should have told her to stop. But instead I asked her to return to her previous rhythm. She did - just in time before I was reaching my point of no return. I felt relieved, because I wanted to enjoy her touch a bit longer. She continued caressing me very gentle, with the tip of her index finger barely touching my throbbing penis. But that was it. No more fast strokes at all. No firm grip on my penis. She only massaged my balls every now and then.

First it was heaven, but then it became torture, for now I was longing for the firm, fast strokes. Eventually, even her gentle touch brought me to the edge. It was unbearably slow. I felt a burning sensation crawl up to the tip of my penis. It grew stronger as I approached my climax. Then, finally, I was there. The trigger was pulled and there was nothing to stop me now.

I don't know whether she sensed my coming climax, but just then, when she had started the chain reaction, she released my penis and massaged my balls. She massaged them firmly and rhythmically and my orgasmic contractions followed her rhythm. With each grip on my balls, my penis was jumping up with a slow stream of semen dripping from its tip. The sensation was not a full orgasm, but certainly not as frustrating as the previous time. However, I was hard again only a few minutes later! Maybe we can build on this technique to keep me "up".

Sunday morning was interesting, because it was the first time that my wife "used" me for her pleasure.
She wanted me to make love to her. So I undressed and started to kiss and caress her. She looked very tired and not sexy at all.
I removed her panties and tried to undress her top. She pulled her shirt down again with a disapproving look on her face. Usually this is a clear signal that she does not actually want sex.

So I asked her:
"Are you sure you want to make love? Maybe you should sleep a bit more, while I prepare breakfast."
She said: "I really want you to make love to me, just don't touch me and don't talk to me."

So I entered her and slowly made love to her. She was not looking at me. She was not touching me. It felt very awkward, because it was clear that she wanted just my penis and not what was attached to it. I felt used. I felt owned. And it felt so right.

I tried to be as good as possible. I tried to read from her expression whether I should go slower and faster. Since I was still horny from last night, I had to control myself not to come immediately. If I relax my PC muscle, my erection weakens a bit, but I can delay my orgasm for quite some time. Relaxing the PC muscle while making love is difficult, because with each stroke it wants to contract again. To delay my orgasm, I also have to concentrate on something else. Fortunately, trying to read her expressions distracted me enough to last for some time.

After a few minutes, I had the impression that Princess was satisfied and that she wanted me to climax. I weakened my efforts to delay my orgasm, but kept the PC relaxed. My orgasm came very slowly and very intense. Princess gave me a tired smile, pushed me away and had me clean her up. Then she sent me away to prepare breakfast. She had used me for her pleasure and it was my responsibility to make it a good experience for her. I did not realize it then, but it was the first time she had put her sexual needs far above mine!

This experience fits into a new pattern. We have generally more sex than before. I think there are two main reasons. The first is her new power to decide. The second is my focus on her pleasure and desires.

Orgasm control (2)

Princess has developed a beautiful technique to tease and deny me. She will start when I still have my boxers on. She gently strokes over my penis. Just enough so that it does not tickle. She enjoys how I react. She loves to feel it grow. While she does this, her head rest on my chest. She can feel my breath, she can hear my heart, its beat resonating in my chest. Faster with every touch.
"You want to take these off?" she will whisper eventually, pulling my boxers down just a bit. Moments later I am nude.

Princess takes hold of her property and firmly grips my balls. My penis replies with a quick jump. Then Princess resumes caressing my penis. Just the tips of her fingers. Gently up the shaft to the tip. Then down again. Another firm pull on the balls to make sure I don't fall asleep. Now I am ready for more, but she goes on gently. This goes on for minutes. I drift away. I float in a pleasurable state that will never reach orgasm.
When I don't expect it, she takes my penis in her hand. One, two, three quick strokes. Just enough to elevate me closer to the climax. But never getting there. When I have just realized what has happened, she will slow down again. I float again. A bit closer to climax than before, but still not there.
Suddenly she gets up. Will she deny me tonight? Should I be happy that the lives my fantasy, or should I beg her to continue?

But instead of turning around, she bends down and takes my throbbing member in her warm mouth. Her heat and softness drive me crazy. With her soft lips she brings me to the brink of orgasm. She grips the base of my penis and moves her mouth up and down a few times. I'm almost there. She knows it. My tip is like a red ripe cherry. She kisses it.
"Good night beautiful penis." she says and turns around to sleep.

The next evening I hope that the story continues, but she is too tired. I can feel the tension in my balls. The following night, she invites me to make love. I am in heaven as I dive into her wetness. In the recent weeks, I have tried to last longer when we make love. There are some techniques that work well for me. She likes it rough, so I start fast. Usually, this desensitizes me and I can go on for a long time. Or I try to put myself in her position. I imagine what it feels like to be her. This helps me to anticipate what she might like next and it diverts the attention from my own approaching climax.

But today nothing works. I am just too loaded and after just a couple of minutes I have to tell her that we must slow down. I feel defeated. I want to be her lasting lover.
"Please go on" she says, "it feels so good when you come." and so I do.

Later I ask her "I hope it was good for you?"
"Yes, very good. But I think you need more orgasms to last longer."

What should I say now? Is there anything the will not offend her? And, do I want more orgasms? Isn't the idea about submission to be denied? Every orgasm is well earned?

"I have as many orgasms as you wish" I finally answer. She seems happy with this answer.

But now I am thinking. Why are we so keen on being denied? Is it the lack of sex that drives us into submission and then we turn denial into a fetish? I am not sure.

I imagine what it would be like if I had many orgasms. I imagine what it would be like if she ordered me to masturbate to orgasm every day. Not for my pleasure, but to make me last longer when we make love. Like you walk your dog around the block so that it can pee she will walk me to the toilet to masturbate under her supervision.

This fantasy turned me on. I keep thinking about it all the time. So at least for me it is not being denied that is arousing, it is being controlled. If my orgasms are controlled by Her, I feel incredibly submissive.

Deep inside I have a strong desire to be owned, to be treated like I am owned. Whatever gives me this feeling is fine. If she denies me I have this feeling, but also if she orders me to masturbate to exhaustion. By contrast, I get frustrated if I feel that she does not care. Fortunately, this gets less and less. The more care about her, the more she cares about me.

Sexual Nirvana?

I have a problem. Whatever I do for my Princess, or whatever she does to me, I compare what is happening to my fantasies. I can't help it. I cannot switch of my brain.

Let me illustrate what I mean.

The kids are in bed. Princess is tired from a long day at work and relaxes on the couch, her eyes closed, listening to her favorite music.

I try to help her relaxing, kneeling before her. I gently stroke her hair. "Now she relaxes and may be ready for some intimacy." I think, but immediately after that I fear that she may relax just a little too much and then she'll be tired, too tired.

She opens her eyes with a tired smile: "We should get ready. Tomorrow I have to get up early." It is 10pm. While Princess gets ready in the bathroom I clean up behind us and put our daughter once more on the toilet. Potty training. I use the other bathroom to get ready and since there is nothing more for me to do, I get ready and wait for my Princess to return.

After a while she returns from the bathroom, still dressed. She prepares her dress for tomorrow. She will never let me do this. So I sit read.

When I look up again, she steps out of her pants and undoes her blouse. I admire her shape. With one skillful movement she opens her bra and throws it away. Two perfectly shaped breasts. The sight I've been waiting for. Princess grabs a t-shirt for the night and puts it on. Now I know that she is too tired. If she had put it next to her pillow instead, there would have been a chance that we will make love. But I don't waste a thought on this anymore. Rather I want to cherish every second of her brief nudity.

Today I am lucky. Years of washing and wearing have made the fabric of her t-shirt thin and transparent. So now I get a good view of her erect nipples. I am in heaven. "You are so beautiful." I whisper. "Thank you." she says. If only she believed me.

Princess quickly joins me and rests her head on my chest. She is so warm, so soft. I inhale her scent and close my eyes. My penis is hard. I gently stroke her hair. With my other hand I gently stroke her shoulder blades, down her spine, until I reach her buttox. With my eyes closed I try to imagine every inch of skin that I tough. My fingers caress her hips and then move slowly up along her waist back to her shoulders. She loves my gentle touch and relaxes completely. Imagining her makes me so horny.

But after a few minutes, my mind begins to roam. Selfish desires crawl up. "Come on, touch me!" I think, "Touch me before I go limp." Instantly, I get annoyed. I should concentrate on her pleasure, don't I? Can't I just be and enjoy the tenderness of the moment?

I try to focus on Princess again. What can I do to make it more exciting for her? Can I do more? Am I too boring?

Suddenly, she pulls my side of the covers down and exposes me. I know well what this means. Her hand touches my belly and moves slowly down to my crotch. With her palm she feels my penis through my boxers. Often my erection is almost gone by now. "Is she disappointed?" I try to think of something sexy to make it grow again, but it never works. Fortunately I don't have a problem today. I am as hard as I can be.

"You can undress if you like" she says. Too polite. "Why doesn't she say 'undress!'" I think. Shame on me again!

I comply and remove my boxers. We resume our position and she starts caressing me with her finger tips. Slowly she strokes my penis from the tip down to the balls, then up again. Barely touching me. Sometimes she concentrates on the sensitive skin just below the glans. Sometimes she squeezes balls while firmly pulling the skin down. Then she may masturbate me for a few strokes. Always changing the pace from slow to fast and back again, never keeping one method for long. Slowly my excitement builds up, unbearably slow. Now my mind is almost empty.

But only almost. I am still caressing her back. Should I concentrate on her or should I just relax and enjoy her attention? Would she prefer something else? "Would you like to make love?" I ask. "No, I am tired". So I can relax I think, but soon I wonder whether she will finish me off or deny me. I don't know which I prefer. If she denies me I will be frustrated, but I know that she "thinks Dom". My body wants an orgasm badly. Why can't I just cherish the moment? Why can't I just relax and be her toy? Instead I spoil my pleasure with stupid thoughts.

After a few minutes, she firmly grips my penis and starts jerking me off. Skillfully, not too fast and not too slow. A steady rhythm and no more pause. At this rate, I'll have my orgasm within a few seconds. There is nothing I can do to prevent it. I have often tried to resist, but she knows my body like a mechanic knows his engine. She has scheduled my orgasm and it will be on time. Before I can think anything else my thoughts are flushed by the orgasm and my mind is finally at peace.

For me submission means to fully give up your thoughts and desires. Not only do your told, but also be what your told. I want to be her toy, her pet. Does Sexual Nirvana exist? The state of total happiness and fulfillment? The state where I exist only for her pleasure. The state where my desires cease to exist?

The state of my campaign

I wish I could give a clear statement about the state of my campaign.

Princess is positive about many aspects of my new behavior. She likes to be in charge. She likes the attention I give her and she certainly likes that to be in charge of the bedroom. That said, there are things that she is not comfortable with, to put it mildly.

My Princess wants a strong partner. She does not want to dominate me. Although it is my strong desire to be humiliated at times, she may never do it.

I have also reduced my share of the daily chores to a more reasonable amount. Princess did not like that I spend so much time cleaning, washing, and ironing. At first I was confused, because I thought "what could be nicer than to relax while your husband does all the work?"

She simply said: "I don't want to sit here alone while you are doing all the work. I want to help you, so we have more time together!"

Point granted. It is all for her pleasure, so why should she enjoy that I spend the entire evening in the kitchen cleaning up. Both my wife and I are working full time. My wife has to commute one hour, so she get home an hour later than I do. Both our jobs are intellectually demanding and when we come home we are exhausted. If we want to spend at least half an hour together, we simply have no choice, but to share the work.

So for the time being, we are on equal terms, only that she has the last word, if we don't agree.

I will take things more slowly. From her perspective, it is indeed weird that I suddenly get excited by doing house work. She cannot appreciate that it gives me the chance to submit to her orders. If I was the traditional patriarch of the family, and my wife would spend more and more time cleaning, I would think that she has become neurotic.

I have decided to concentrate my efforts of those aspects of WLM that Princess enjoys most. She loves her new power in the bedroom. She is not dominating me, mind you, but she likes that I focus on her pleasure. She likes to decide if, when, and how we are intimate. The last few times she actually said "we should do this more often." So I will try to pamper her even more.

I am not sure that she likes to control my orgasms. I think she sees no point in it. What she likes, however, is that she does not have to decide from the beginning how far we go. She can start being intimate and stop anytime if she feels she is too tired for more.

So for now, she likes to be in charge. Let's see, how she grows into her now role.

Ups and downs

Shortly before Christmas, my wife had broken her arm and since then, she was unable to use it. The interesting side effect of this was, that I had to do all of the work around the house and my wife had to sit and watch. I am sure that this period helped her to appreciate her new role as head of the house. On Monday, after five long weeks, the cast was removed and I was curious to see what will happen. Will she fall back into her old behavior of doing most work around the house?

Monday evening, she resumed an old habit that she could not practice because of her broken arm. When we went to bed, she told me to strip and lie down. She then sat between my legs, still fully dressed and gave me a mind blowing blow job.

Shortly before I reached climax, she sat up and stroked my slowly with her hands. I did not know whether she would deny me or not, until she said "Come for me!". This sent me over the edge and she watched with pleasure how I made a mess of myself. What a great start of the week!

The following two days were uneventful. Princess was too tired to lead and too tired for intimacy. Every night, she just said good night and turned around to sleep.

Thursday was the day of our planned our romantic evening. I had high expectations, because not much had happened during the week. All day, I thought of something special for my Princess. Something that she would enjoy. But I had a hard day at work, so I decided to just pamper her in every possible way.

When I got home, my son still had homework to do. And when it was time for our kids to go to bed, he was still not done. I was tired from the day and probably too strict with him. So my attempts to speed him up ended in an argument. Nothing serious, but and argument still. My wife came later than usual and arrived just in time for the showdown between the father and his six year old son.

After the kids were in bed, my wife retired to the living room and watched TV. I finished cleaning the kitchen and joined my wife. She did not speak with me during the entire evening. Later in bed, I asked whether she was upset at something.

What followed was a scolding like I have not received before, or at least not since I was a boy:

"You are not up to this!" she shouted "When I come home from work, I don't want to find a family at war! I am too tired to put up with you in this state! You should be ashamed at how you shouted at our poor son."

And so it went on for 15 minutes or more. I did not object nor did I argue. She was right. I was tired and had lost my temper. I told her that she was right. She did not answer.

There was a long silence. It felt awful. I felt awful! But at the same time I admired her. She was so strong and dominant. So beautiful. I felt the strong desire to be punished. I thought "give me good spanking and we will both feel better." I struggled whether I should tell her to punish me, or whether it will make things worse. After a long pause, I finally mustered the courage to tell her that she may punish me if she wished.

That was a mistake. Even as I spoke, I could feel the temperature drop far below the freezing point. She was furious. "Be careful", she said, "there is only a thin line between submitting and being despised. I have married a strong man and I need somebody to lean on." Her voice was strong and firm. She expected me to listen and obey. Her final words were something like "If you want me to decide, that's fine with me, but I won't have any role-plays outside the bedroom."

Needless to say that I was scared. Did I go to far? Did I break the very foundations our marriage is build on?

I spent the next day thinking about what had happened. If my wife does not want a wife-led marriage, I will respect that and stop my campaign. I bought her a big bouquet of flowers and decided to talk with her after the kids are in bed.

My wife arrived later than usual. When I gave her the flowers she was deeply moved. We kissed passionately and then she asked: "Didn't you get my e-mail?" "No, which e-mail?" - "I sent you a mail to apologize for last night and when you did not reply I was worried that you don't want to talk to me anymore." Now I was surprised. We kissed again and I told her that there was no reason for her to apologize. At night, we made love - it was wonderful.

When I woke up on Saturday, she was already awake. I started to kiss her - her cheeks, her neck. I wanted to be slow and tender. When I reached her breasts, she put her hand on my head and pushed me down. I was thrilled. She has never done something like this before! So I went down and pleasured her with my mouth. And to my great delight she used her pelvis to direct me to the right places. Also for the first time. She had me pleasure her for a long time and did not rush like so often. And when she finally gave me the signal to make her come, my mouth and tongue were sore and my erection painful.

After her orgasm she turned her back on me and relaxed. She had really used me for her pleasure. For a while, I had the impression she fell asleep again. It looked like she was going to deny me. I was about to get up, when she finally invited me to make love. I was more than happy to comply, but I was so excited that I came within seconds. It was bliss.

Then came breakfast and with it another surprise. My wife was telling our kids how to behave properly at the table and if they did not follow the rules, she would punish them. Then she added "and if Daddy doesn't follow the rules, I will punish him as well."

This was of course a joke. But it was significant, because she demonstrated her role as head of the family. Later the day she once more joked about punishing me if I misbehaved. She did not notice my erection.

After the kids were in bed, we had our romantic evening. I pampered her like I had planned on Thursday. We also found time to talk about our argument. I asked her if she despised me for being submissive, to which she replied:

"No of course not. I love you and you may serve me."

While we were talking, she was lying on the couch, while I was sitting on the floor next to her. I told her that I would like to be naked while she is dressed.

"Then undress!" she ordered me. I was in heaven. Just to make sure that she did not misinterpret this, I said: "You don't have to do anything, we can just sit and talk."

To this she smiled and said "I don't intend to do anything. You will fuck me now."

Whow! How long have I be waiting for something like this? But I don't know why, I was foolish enough to ask her "May I lick you before I do that?" She agreed. So I went down on her, but soon she made it clear that she wanted me. While we were making love, I continued to talk about our new type of relationship. How stupid of me, but Princess was very patient today. I tried to last longer, but she ordered me to come. When we make love, she wants me to be her unrestrained animal.

Later she told me that I should not talk so much during sex. She was very kind and gentle, like a mother to her child: "When we make love, don't tell me about all the other things you want to do. Just fuck me."

I replied that these were the only times when we could actually talk about sex and I promised not to do it again. Then she smiled at me and said "And never lick me when I tell you to fuck me." I am such an idiot!

The weekend continued to be wonderful. Sunday night, I was scolded once more, but this time for not doing the laundry the right way. Princess thought it was still too damp for the closet. So I spent the evening ironing, while she was chatting with her friend on the phone. Later, she apologized for being so strict, and again I told her that it is her right to so. In bed, I held her in my arms while she caressed me for a long time. I did not expect any intimacy, because we had plenty of sex in the morning and during the weekend. But when I expected her to turn around she started to touch me. With slow and tender strokes, she made me hot. She got up and kissed the tip of my penis while slowly stroking it. Then she took me deep into her mouth. Then out again. It was heaven. Her strokes became faster, now moving hand and mouth. I was desperate to come. She moved up again, my penis slowly sliding out of her mouth. Another kiss on my purple tip and then she drop it. My erection was throbbing helplessly.

"Do you want me to leave you like this, or should I continue?" she asked.

"Do what you want to do"

"Then I will leave you like this. Good night"

I wanted to beg her to continue, but this time I resisted. Instead I asked "How do you feel about this?"

She answered: "I don't need sex as often as you do, so I have no problem to deny you occasionally."

Life-Work Balance

A typical day:

• 6:30 The alarm clock rings. We cuddle and sleep some more before
• 7:00 we get up.
• 7:00-8:30 I shower, prepare breakfast, I get the kids ready and bring them to school or kindergarten. My wife drives to work.
• 9:00-18:00 I work until at 6pm I go home to send our house maid home.
• 18:00-19:00 I prepare dinner and eat with the kids.
• 19:00 My wife comes home and joins us for dinner
• 19:00-20:00 I get the kids ready, read them a good-night story and bring them to bed
• 20:00-21:00 Clean up the kitchen and most of the apartment
• 21:00-23:00 Relax with my wife. We talk, read, and, very rarely, watch TV
• 23:00 Bed time

Of course the exact times change from day to day, but this is our daily routine.

During the week we only have 1 or 2 hours alone. During this time we have to talk about the kid's school, our work situations and all the little things that you need to do to keep your household alife. By the time we are ready and relaxed enough to get intimate, we are usually too tired. My sex drive keeps me awake, but my wife is often too worn out. And so, over the years, we have neglected our relationship. We are not estranged, but our sex life often slips into a mechanical routine that neither of us enjoys.

I have often tried to break this routine by suggesting one romantic evening per week in which we leave the daily matters behind and concentrate just on us. My wife never liked the idea: "Romance is something spontaneous that you cannot plan" she always said. So eventually I dropped the issue altogether. I think she did not like the romantic evening, because for her it meant prescribed sex.

Recently, however, my wife controls the bedroom. She decides every aspect of our sex life and she loves it. I guess this has taken the tension of her. And now my wife has become sympathetic with the idea of a romantic evening. Last night she proposed to reserve Thursday nights for us. She knows that nothing must happen, but anything may.

Of course I am very anxious not to put any pressure on her. My wife wanted to know what I suggest for our first special evening. I said that I would love to just serve and pamper her. I would be her obedient slave that fulfills her every wish. While she relaxes on the couch, I would bring her drinks, massage her, make her life as sweet as possible.

"That sounds wonderful"

was her answer.

Later in bed, I held her in my arms while she gently caressed my erection. I wanted to know how much she is into her new role, so I said, referring to the organ in her hand,

"This is your personal property, you know?"

To which she replied

"Yes, I'm getting used to the idea."

She continued to caress me for a few more minutes, before she wished me good night and left me aroused and denied.

The following morning, I was sitting on our bed to get dressed and my wife returned from the shower. She stood before me and pulled my head towards her so that my face came to rest between her wonderful naked breasts. It was so exciting. She told me how much she loved me and as I started to kiss her breasts, she added

"Your breasts and my penis."

Obviously she has embraced the idea that she owns my genitals. I had to corrected her and said

"No my love. Your penis and your breasts."

After that she pulled me closer again and held me very tight. I have rarely felt so deeply in love.

Desperate

I have made it a habit to encourage my wife to make decisions and to remind her that she is my boss and the head of the family. If she asks me to do something I will stop what I am doing to execute her wish. When there is something to decide, I let her do it. Of course I will give her my opinion, but without implying a decision. This very hard at times, in particular if the decision seems obvious.

Recently, I observe that our relation is changing. There is an obvious shift in power, caused by my submission. My wife is more assertive than she used to be. She expresses her ideas and opinions with more self-confidence than before. She gets used to having the last word and I think by now she even expects it. She also gives me more assignments than before and expects me to execute them.

So my wife is assuming a more dominant role in our marriage and I she seems to enjoy it. But she is still far from being dominant. When she wants something done, she says it politely. The biggest improvement is that her questions have become statements. For example, she used to say something like "When you have time, would you mind bringing out the garbage?" Now she will simply state :"When you are finished with your food, please bring out the garbage." Usually, I will react immediately to encourage her to continue.

It is also important to my wife that I am not the only one who is doing house work. For example last night. While I was preparing our kids for bed, she vacuumed the apartment. Later, when I was ironing and she insisted on selecting and handing me the next piece of clothing. I guess, it takes more time before she enjoys the new freedom and relaxes on the couch while I do the work.

Our intimate life has definitely improved since I started my campaign. We actually make love more often than before, but now she initiates it. She decides if, when, and what we do in bed. I have no vote in the bedroom.

Last weekend, we made love three times. Every time, she insisted that I have an orgasm. When I tried to stop, she got very upset and scolded me: "I want you to cum when we make love. You told me that my pleasure comes first. You come for my pleasure, not yours! I will deny you at other times."

She did deny me during the week. She teased me Sunday night. More aggressive and forceful than ever. She gently stroke my erection, barely touching it. She did this for a long time. She knew that after a wile I like a firm grip, but she continued gently. Then, when I was not expecting it anymore, she took me deep into her mouth and quickly sucked be to the brink of orgasm. Then she stopped and kissed me passionately while firmly grabbing my balls. She kept her grip and started to bite my neck. I could feel her passion. It was all for her. Then she took me in her mouth again deep and slow. I was about to explode. I could feel that she wanted me to cum in her mouth and I would not resist. Suddenly, she got up and put on her pyjamas. I was floating. I was desperate.

"Did I stop too abruptly?" she asked after she got dressed. My head was dizzy, my mouth was too dry to answer . "Perfect", I croaked finally.

"Good! I only want to be sure that you are happy."
"I am! More than ever."

The next evening, she teased me again, and again she stopped when I was close to orgasm. But this time it was too much for me. I was desperate. After a few sleepless minutes in the dark, I begged her to continue. Without an answer, she turned around and finished me off. It took her less than a minute. Then, without another word, she switched off the light and turned around to slept. I had to clean up the mess in the dark. I felt so humiliated. First, because I begged and second because of the clinical routine and efficiency with which she did it. It was a clear message that she did not appreciate it.

I wished that she had said "No".

Lost orgasm

Last night my wife was caressing me in bed. She often does it when she is tired and feels that I need some attention. Wonderful, isn't she. Since my confession, she started to tease and deny me. I told her that I don't want to know whether she will let me cum or not.
The first few times, I told her when I was near the point of no return, but she soon learned to read the signs and now I can just relax and enjoy.

Last night, she started slowly. Her finger tips barely touching my penis. She knows that this makes it very sensitive. Then she grabbed me and increased her pace until I was near the edge. Just in time, she slowed down, again barely touching me with just one finger. Time to relax and enjoy.

She repeated this a number of times. Always bringing me close to orgasm and then stopping just before the point. The intervals between stimulation and rest became shorter and shorter. So at some point, I was floating at the edge of orgasm. It was wonderful. My mind drifted. My body was an erection. What else do you want to be?

Then it happened. She stopped just a bit too late. For what seemed like an eternity, I was at the edge, not knowing whether I will cum or not. I felt like a rope artist who desperately tries to maintain his balance. One mistake and you fall. And I did.

It was one of my involuntary contractions that gave me the rest. My penis became even harder than before. It was ready to shoot its load. But a forceful orgasm needs persistent stimulation. So instead of a mighty orgasm, I could feel the helpless spasms of my dying erection. Within a few seconds my penis had shriveled and I could feel my cum leaking out on my belly.

When my wife realized what had happened, she resumed her stimulation, but it was too late. I had ejaculated without pleasure. Interestingly, after a few minutes, my erection was back and stayed for the rest of the night.

My wife apologized, but I told her that there was no reason. I told her that I had actually fantasized about this many times. She was surprised. So let's see whether this will become part of her tease and deny repertoire. I think I would have enjoyed it much more if my wife had done it on purpose.

Before I started this post, I saw that something similar happened to the author of one of my favorite blogs. So I wonder how many orgasms are ruined on this planet every minute...

Orgasm control

Orgasm control seems to be a central part of a WLM. The wife takes full control (and responsibility) over her husbands sexuality. She decides if, when, and how the lover is allowed to have an orgasm. She can use her power to redirect her husbands attention away from his own pleasure towards hers. Her pleasure comes first and she should have considerably more orgasms than him. The wife can also use his orgasms to gratify or punish him for good or bad behavior. If his performance is not satisfactory, he must wait for some more days, before his pressure is released. The women literally owns her man's sexuality. Of course this is a big turn-on for submissive men.

But I think there is something else that makes Orgasm Control so appealing for men, despite the deprivation and frustration that comes with it.

Orgasm Control turns around the traditional roles in which the men advance the women for mating.
Men have high-paced hormonal clocks that dictate them to ejaculate regularly. So a man must take the initiative. Women have their own hormonal clock. It is, in my experience, slower and not primarily tuned to maximize reproductive output. In the blissful days of a young love, a woman will often give in to the advances of her man, but once these days have passed, she will listen to her inner clock. She will reject him, if she is not in the mood. We all know this too well.

For us men, the female lust cycle is an unpredictable mystery, a prime source of frustration. So wouldn't it be wonderful to reverse this situation? Wouldn't it be so much easier if men could just ignore their inner clocks and simply wait for the mating call of the female? And if your hear her divine whistle, you just obey her desires, fueled by your accumulated lust. Now the woman initiates sex and the husband is more than happy to obey. No more rejections and more attention. I think this is what many men hope to get when they submit their sexuality to their wives.

Of course I love the idea of Orgasm Control and I discussed this with my Princess. Her reaction was positive; she would give it a try. Now some weeks have passed and, as you may guess from my previous posts, we are not there. I discussed with my Princess why she is reluctant.

My wife was very honest: "There is nothing in it for me that I don't have now. So why should I deny you any orgasms?"

First, she said, that I already did most of the work around the house. We are both working, and since my hours are more flexible working than hers, I take care of the kids and most of the house-work. "Why should I motivate you to do any more? If I do, you will be too tired to be useful."

Second, my wife wants my orgasms. She loves to watch me at the moment of highest pleasure. She wants to see how I spurt. All this is important for her and orgasm control would take a lot of it away. She also enjoys my uninhibited lust. She does not like it if I delay my orgasm. In fact, she often encourages me to come as quickly as I want or need. After I am done, she is usually content. Of course this it also a big turn-on for me. I am her toy and she takes pleasure from watching me. But it runs counter to the idea of Orgasm Control.

So from my wife's point of view, there is no incentive for controlling my orgasms. This leaves me with the question of how I can convince her to doing it anyway. Currently my hope is that our developing WLM will make her more demanding and that she will eventually start controlling (i.e. denying) my orgasms.