Do with me whatever you want!

When I woke up on Friday morning, we had a first. It was the first time that Princess started a conversation about our sex live.
It started with her body grinding against mine.
Slowly I awoke from my dreams from the feeling of her butt rubbing against my erection.
She turned around, looked into my sleepy eyes and said:
"I want to apologize -
I want to apologize for rejecting you so often.
I love you so much and it hurts me to leave you unsatisfied."

I gently touched her cheeks and kissed her. "I know." I whispered.

Her hands explored my body. My chest, my belly, my back and soon her hands found their way to my penis.
Her eyes focused on me again, digging deep into me, trying to read my thoughts. Her face was thoughtful. But only for a second. Then she said:
"You can do with me whatever you want."
"Everything?" I asked
"Everything!" she confirmed, "but you must also fuck me."

I felt a flush of love and happiness. My mind raced. What should I do with such an unexpected offer.

I undressed her and lay on top of her. I felt her skin. I smelled her scent. I entered her. I took her hard and fast, because this is what she needed. And while I made love to her, I held her face in my hands, kissing her mouth, nibbling on her lips.

Princess enjoyed what I was doing.
"I love when you take me like this. I love to be in your arms when you fuck me."
Her body confirmed what she had said: She became wet. Very wet. The sensation of entering her was incredible. Like diving into a tight hot pool. I brought her knees up against her chest and reached for her behind. With my hands I cupped her butt. It was wet as well. Her liquids were everywhere. My fingers probed her anus. With ease I slid inside. Deeper than ever before. I felt myself sliding in and out of her. I inserted a second finger. Would it fit? I had never done it before. She moaned with pleasure. Hopefully, she would not wake up the kids. For a moment I thought about anal sex. But we have never done it and I was not sure that it would work right away. Too great was the danger to spoil the moment and too great was her pleasure in what I was doing now. So I decided that this is enough for today.
I fucked her with two fingers deep inside her anus. It was so great just observing her pleasure that I almost forgot about my orgasm. Finally she begged me to make her cum and as soon as my tongue touched her pussy, she did. I re-entered her before her orgasm was over. She was even wetter than before. We were soaking with sweat and love. We were panting. No longer was I observing her. My mind was finally at rest and my primal instincts took over. I was just using her to provide the friction for my pleasure. I was grunting like an animal when I exploded. Breathless I collapsed on top of her.
After a few minutes Princess said "I feel so close to you now. Why don't we do this more often?"

You must learn to trust me

Last night we were lying in bed and Princess started to touch me. I was very aroused. First, because I did not have an orgasms for some time.
But mostly, because she wanted to please me, although she was tired.

I gently stroke her back while she was in my arms.
"You are my little sex toy" I whispered in her ear.
Usually, she responds something affirmative, but not tonight.
She said: "Urmel, tonight I am too tired and exhausted for this kind of games."

-- Ouch!

This turned me off. Although she continued to stimulate me, I did not want to come anymore. I though, if I let her continue, she is ruling and not me. She would not want that. If I come now, my orgasm is wasted. It will be rushed. Neither of us will enjoy it.
Moreover, I thought, if she is not interested in the role she chose for herself, there is no point in going any further.
I had lost all interest in making love and with it my erection.

Princess noticed that I was suddenly limp as a wet cloth and she asked if anything was wrong.
"What you have just said really turned me off. I think we better stop." I answered.

"I am sorry. I am just very tired."

"I will not use you, when you are exhausted like this. If you want me to be in charge, you must learn to trust me. Sleep now!"

She thanked me, kissed me good night and fell asleep at once.

I am glad and proud that I said no although I could have had it. I said no, because I knew it would not be good. Only good sex is the key to more and better sex.

I am responsible that we only have sex when we both enjoy it. Otherwise, we will fall back into old patterns, where Princess perceived sex as a burden.

When we woke up next morning, we were both relaxed and really enjoyed our intimacy.

Our reversal of roles

For the last weeks, I am the head of the bedroom. I decide when we have sex. I decide how we have sex. Whatever I decide, Princess is very eager to please me. You can imagine that we have had a lot of sex lately.

What I don't understand so far is why this works. In the past, we often quarreled about sex. She complained that it was too much. Now we have even more sex and seems very happy with my high sex drive. Suddenly she is so eager to pleasure me that I can't believe it. Why?

Maybe it was our WLM experiment that changed her mind. Maybe my confessions made her think about her own desires. I thought that she wanted to be in control; that she wanted to decide when and how we have sex. Probably my wishes were father of the thought, who knows, but in the end I was wrong. Our WLM experiment lasted only four months. Princess did not like it.

Maybe there is another reason as well. In the past, I was always very polite when it came to sex: "Would you like to make love?" or "Would you like blow me?". I was very defensive. And the more problems we had, the more defensive and I became.
"Please let us make love."
In the end I was begging more than anything else. And the more I begged, the less sex we had. I guess she was simply put off by this. The problem was not the amount of sex, but the amount of begging.

Recently Princess told me that in bed she doesn't want to be asked. So now I just tell her what I want: "Tonight I will use you" or "Suck me until I come." She seems to get most of her satisfaction from giving me pleasure. Of course I must make sure that she gets what she needs. But I must be very subtle, because she doesn't want me to do something for her pleasure only. She needs the feeling that I take her for my pleasure only. If I ask her whether she likes what we are doing, I destroy this feeling.
Princess needs to be fucked. I know that now. So I fuck her often. Much more often than before and much harder than before.

Princess has become my sex toy and she tells me she loves it. But like with every toy, I must take care not to break it. I am responsible for her and she trusts me. Being responsible means that I must put her well being before my mine. If she is too tired, I must decide that we won't have sex, even if I wanted it. Being responsible means that I know her well enough to know her limits. I can push these limits, but I must know where to stop. I must also decide when we don't have sex and these are the most difficult decisions. Self-control and patience are not my virtues. She makes it easy to control her, but is much harder to control myself.

Her Master's Voice

I think it is established now, that my wife is at least as submissive as I am. In bed, she wants to be dominated. She wants to be used. She wants to be forced.

For me this is a difficult situation for I am submissive as well. But when Princess feels better this way, I will do as she wishes. It is my mission to serve her and to make her happy, even if it means to change my role from bottom to top.

I asked Princess what she wants.
"I prefer to be your slave, rather than the other way around"

So I became her master. Her conscious and careful master. I watch her even more than before, to understand her moods and anticipate her desires. Then I act. And when I act, I won't let her stop me. I do what I determined to do.

Her reaction was amazing. I can't remember the last time we had so much passionate sex in a week. But every time, I made sure that I was not carried away by my own desires. I made sure that I cater the needs of my Princess as well. She does not need an orgasm each time, but she needs to be fucked, hard and long. She needs to feel me in her and on top of her. Then she'll be wax in my hands and obey to whatever I command.

One night, I decided that we don't have sex. I wanted to give her a rest. I was in bed reading, when Princess came in. She was tired from a long day at work. It was obvious. But she was a good girl and undressed entirely, and joined me in bed. Ready to be used. I put my arm around her and told her to sleep. She thanked me and we cuddled and talked.
I whispered in her ear that she is now my property and that she exists solely for my pleasure. She pressed her naked body against mine and started to touch me. It was a wonderful gesture of devotion.
"Take me in your mouth and suck me!" I commanded. She obeyed. She took me deep into her mouth and sucked me with passionately. After I while, she sat up and massaged my wet cock. I could feel my orgasm coming.
"Suck me, until I come in your mouth" I ordered and immediately she took me in her mouth again. When I came soon after that, she continued licking, slowly and gentle.
"Good girl" I said. There was no question that apart from my orgasm this was her only reward.

When we make love, it turns me on to be dominant and forceful. But outside the bedroom I find it difficult to keep up Her Master's Voice.

This week I was reminded again and again on At All Times' post from a while ago.
How hard can it be?
How hard can it be to put on a dominant tone?
How hard can it be to order instead of asking?

It is difficult. Very difficult. I've tried.

It is difficult, because our emotions result from what we do. The psychologist William James formulated this idea over 100 years ago.
Our emotions follow our actions rather than the other way around.
We don't smile because we are happy, but we are happy, because we smile.
We don't cry and tremble, because we are sad, but we are sad because we cry and tremble.
Try it out. Smile and you will feel immediately feel happier.

When I am kind and affectionate to Princess, I feel good. I feel love and I feel lust. But when I boss her around and when I put on a strict and unfriendly voice, my emotions change according to what I am doing. I start to feel the way I behave. I don't feel good anymore. I don't feel erotic. It turns me off.

I think it is a good exercise for all submissive men to switch roles once in a while. In particular, when you cannot understand why your wife is not doing to you what you desire and wish for. Just try it out for one week. For me this week was an eye-opener. I now understand why my wife refused to be more demanding, forceful and, well, unfriendly to me. Unless you are in a sexual mood, it simply drags you down.

Subbing from the top

In my previous posts I have mentioned, that our sex life has been a bit dormant lately. Mainly because Princess has been working so much that she was too exhausted for nearly everything.

Well, last Friday I again expected a quiet night. I was kneeling in bed next to princess, gently caressing her back. She had closed her eyes and slowly drifted away, obviously enjoying my touch. And I was content as well, because I could please my Princess. In a second, she would turn around, kiss me good night, and fall asleep. Tomorrow morning she would weak up, relaxed and awake, and we would make passionate love for the first time in days.

Then, to my surprise, I felt her hand on my penis, lightly stroking me through my underwear. Within seconds I was hard. I undressed and straddled her, so that she could access me better. It was heaven and very excited.

She masturbated me with slow, but steady strokes, her other hand firmly cupping my balls. She knew how excited I was and increased her pace. I tried to relax, so that I don't come to early, but after two more stokes, I could not hold back any longer. Just a minute after she started, I had to concede. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the force of my orgasm.
When I opened my eyes again, I was surprised by the amount of cum on her chest.

After I cleaned up, she put her head on my chest. I felt the need to apologize, because I came so quickly and that I did not service her in any way.

"Don't be sorry," she said, "I love it when you can't control yourself. And I love when you come on me".
There it was again. Does she want me to dominate her? I did not comment on this, but enjoyed the moment of love and closeness. I gently caressed her while I relaxed.
But Princess was now awake and wanted to talk. So we talked. We talked about our days at work, the kids, well, we talked about everything.

Eventually our conversation turned back to sex, or rather the recent lack of it. Princess stressed how much she suffers when we don't make love often enough. And she thanked me for being so patient. I took this opportunity to see if she wants me to take more initiative, because she has mentioned this a couple of times. So I said "I missed you as well, in fact I was having rape fantasies." Maybe this was a bit drastic, but I wanted to probe how dominant she would like me to be. I expected her to scold me for being so inconsiderate and tasteless.

But instead, she smiled and said "So next time rape me!"
"Are you serious?", I inquired
"Yes, next time you are horny, don't listen to me, just take me and fuck me."
"Ok", I said.
And then we made love. Long and passionately. Since I had just cum, I lasted long. I fucked her hard, for I knew that she wanted it and needed it.
When I finally came, she held me very tight, her fingers digging deep into my flesh.

I was sure that Princess now wanted me to pleasure her as well, but she denied and said she was fully satisfied and ready to sleep. So we did.

The rest of the weekend was different from the previous ones. Princess did not boss me around . No orders. No commands. Instead, she was very eager to do her share of the household chores. We made love several times more, in the mornings and in the evenings, making up for the lost opportunities.

Sexually, it was a very satisfying weekend, but I feel that we are moving away from a wife-led marriage towards the opposite. Princess is subbing from the top so to speak, and I am not sure how to react. Maybe I am a switch, maybe it is easier to change myself, then it is to change her....

But am I prepared to play the dominant role?

How important is your sex drive?

My wife can go without sex for a long time. You can say she has a low sex drive. She has often denied me sex and I guess this has revived my dormant submissiveness.

I have written about my new goal to satisfy her in bed and to fulfill her wishes and fantasies. I think I am successful, because now whenever we have sex, I can feel and see that she enjoys it.

For example, last weekend she had two orgasms when we made love. It was the first time ever.
She started to initiate sex and asks me to make love to her more often. She says things like "We should do this more often" or "I need more sex". Instead of being denied she lets me cum in her mouth. In short, we have more sex and better sex.

So what about her low sex drive? Is it really important?
How much is the frequency of our intimate encounters actually determined by the sex drive?

I have developed a theory. It is probably wrong, but I like it and I will share it with you. Please feel free to disagree.

If your sex life is running at the frequency of her sex drive, she is probably not enjoying it.
Sex may then be just a bit better than the withdrawal symptoms.

If you stay with me for a while, I will try to elucidate my thinking.

There is a difference between how often I want sex and how often I need sex:

• I want sex, because I like it.
• I need sex, because of my sex drive, which in turn is upheld by my hormones.

My sex drive gives me the lower bound of my sex frequency. If I have less, I feel depressed. But long before I reach this lower bound I get restless and desperate.
How well I can cope with the withdrawal symptoms depends on the circumstances. For example, if my Princess is ill, I can tolerate the lack of sex more easily. I don't know my exact lower limit, but I think I need sex about once a week.

I want sex far more often than that. I want it three or four times a day. This was my masturbation frequency until I stopped about a month ago. Given the opportunity, I can increase the frequency up to my physical limits.

Why do I want more sex than I need? Because its fun. For me sex has always been great. No bad experiences and often I managed to get what I wanted. That's why I want more and more of it.

I think that

1. The amount of sex you need depends on your sex drive and how well you cope with withdrawal.
2. The amount of sex you want depends on the quality of your sex life and sexual history.

You can influence how often you have enjoyable sex. The better is gets the more you will have (up to a certain limit of course). But the inverse is also true. If your sex life is running at the frequency of her sex drive, she is probably not enjoying it. Sex may then be just a bit better than the withdrawal symptoms.

More and more...

Last weekend Princess kept up her dominant behavior. She issued one task for me to do after the other.

And when you're done, come back immediately, I have more work for you.

She used me as a tool to accomplish more herself. And everything is so natural. Slowly, she starts to expect what I offer.
The pleases and thank-yous erode away.
What used to be polite requests, now become quick orders.
Needless to say that I am very happy.

Later, at night, we had the following conversation:

Are you my Mistress?
Yes, I am.
Do you enjoy being my Mistress?
Very much!
Will you help me to become a better lover?
You are a wonderful lover!
You know that's not true. I am selfish and know nothing about your pleasure.
But I know that we don't have enough sex. I am often tired, but I want more sex.

There it is again. With the reversal of roles comes the reversal of complaints. It used to be me who complained that we don't have enough sex. Now it is Princess who demands more.

I am so deeply in love.