The state of my campaign

I wish I could give a clear statement about the state of my campaign.

Princess is positive about many aspects of my new behavior. She likes to be in charge. She likes the attention I give her and she certainly likes that to be in charge of the bedroom. That said, there are things that she is not comfortable with, to put it mildly.

My Princess wants a strong partner. She does not want to dominate me. Although it is my strong desire to be humiliated at times, she may never do it.

I have also reduced my share of the daily chores to a more reasonable amount. Princess did not like that I spend so much time cleaning, washing, and ironing. At first I was confused, because I thought "what could be nicer than to relax while your husband does all the work?"

She simply said: "I don't want to sit here alone while you are doing all the work. I want to help you, so we have more time together!"

Point granted. It is all for her pleasure, so why should she enjoy that I spend the entire evening in the kitchen cleaning up. Both my wife and I are working full time. My wife has to commute one hour, so she get home an hour later than I do. Both our jobs are intellectually demanding and when we come home we are exhausted. If we want to spend at least half an hour together, we simply have no choice, but to share the work.

So for the time being, we are on equal terms, only that she has the last word, if we don't agree.

I will take things more slowly. From her perspective, it is indeed weird that I suddenly get excited by doing house work. She cannot appreciate that it gives me the chance to submit to her orders. If I was the traditional patriarch of the family, and my wife would spend more and more time cleaning, I would think that she has become neurotic.

I have decided to concentrate my efforts of those aspects of WLM that Princess enjoys most. She loves her new power in the bedroom. She is not dominating me, mind you, but she likes that I focus on her pleasure. She likes to decide if, when, and how we are intimate. The last few times she actually said "we should do this more often." So I will try to pamper her even more.

I am not sure that she likes to control my orgasms. I think she sees no point in it. What she likes, however, is that she does not have to decide from the beginning how far we go. She can start being intimate and stop anytime if she feels she is too tired for more.

So for now, she likes to be in charge. Let's see, how she grows into her now role.

Ups and downs

Shortly before Christmas, my wife had broken her arm and since then, she was unable to use it. The interesting side effect of this was, that I had to do all of the work around the house and my wife had to sit and watch. I am sure that this period helped her to appreciate her new role as head of the house. On Monday, after five long weeks, the cast was removed and I was curious to see what will happen. Will she fall back into her old behavior of doing most work around the house?

Monday evening, she resumed an old habit that she could not practice because of her broken arm. When we went to bed, she told me to strip and lie down. She then sat between my legs, still fully dressed and gave me a mind blowing blow job.

Shortly before I reached climax, she sat up and stroked my slowly with her hands. I did not know whether she would deny me or not, until she said "Come for me!". This sent me over the edge and she watched with pleasure how I made a mess of myself. What a great start of the week!

The following two days were uneventful. Princess was too tired to lead and too tired for intimacy. Every night, she just said good night and turned around to sleep.

Thursday was the day of our planned our romantic evening. I had high expectations, because not much had happened during the week. All day, I thought of something special for my Princess. Something that she would enjoy. But I had a hard day at work, so I decided to just pamper her in every possible way.

When I got home, my son still had homework to do. And when it was time for our kids to go to bed, he was still not done. I was tired from the day and probably too strict with him. So my attempts to speed him up ended in an argument. Nothing serious, but and argument still. My wife came later than usual and arrived just in time for the showdown between the father and his six year old son.

After the kids were in bed, my wife retired to the living room and watched TV. I finished cleaning the kitchen and joined my wife. She did not speak with me during the entire evening. Later in bed, I asked whether she was upset at something.

What followed was a scolding like I have not received before, or at least not since I was a boy:

"You are not up to this!" she shouted "When I come home from work, I don't want to find a family at war! I am too tired to put up with you in this state! You should be ashamed at how you shouted at our poor son."

And so it went on for 15 minutes or more. I did not object nor did I argue. She was right. I was tired and had lost my temper. I told her that she was right. She did not answer.

There was a long silence. It felt awful. I felt awful! But at the same time I admired her. She was so strong and dominant. So beautiful. I felt the strong desire to be punished. I thought "give me good spanking and we will both feel better." I struggled whether I should tell her to punish me, or whether it will make things worse. After a long pause, I finally mustered the courage to tell her that she may punish me if she wished.

That was a mistake. Even as I spoke, I could feel the temperature drop far below the freezing point. She was furious. "Be careful", she said, "there is only a thin line between submitting and being despised. I have married a strong man and I need somebody to lean on." Her voice was strong and firm. She expected me to listen and obey. Her final words were something like "If you want me to decide, that's fine with me, but I won't have any role-plays outside the bedroom."

Needless to say that I was scared. Did I go to far? Did I break the very foundations our marriage is build on?

I spent the next day thinking about what had happened. If my wife does not want a wife-led marriage, I will respect that and stop my campaign. I bought her a big bouquet of flowers and decided to talk with her after the kids are in bed.

My wife arrived later than usual. When I gave her the flowers she was deeply moved. We kissed passionately and then she asked: "Didn't you get my e-mail?" "No, which e-mail?" - "I sent you a mail to apologize for last night and when you did not reply I was worried that you don't want to talk to me anymore." Now I was surprised. We kissed again and I told her that there was no reason for her to apologize. At night, we made love - it was wonderful.

When I woke up on Saturday, she was already awake. I started to kiss her - her cheeks, her neck. I wanted to be slow and tender. When I reached her breasts, she put her hand on my head and pushed me down. I was thrilled. She has never done something like this before! So I went down and pleasured her with my mouth. And to my great delight she used her pelvis to direct me to the right places. Also for the first time. She had me pleasure her for a long time and did not rush like so often. And when she finally gave me the signal to make her come, my mouth and tongue were sore and my erection painful.

After her orgasm she turned her back on me and relaxed. She had really used me for her pleasure. For a while, I had the impression she fell asleep again. It looked like she was going to deny me. I was about to get up, when she finally invited me to make love. I was more than happy to comply, but I was so excited that I came within seconds. It was bliss.

Then came breakfast and with it another surprise. My wife was telling our kids how to behave properly at the table and if they did not follow the rules, she would punish them. Then she added "and if Daddy doesn't follow the rules, I will punish him as well."

This was of course a joke. But it was significant, because she demonstrated her role as head of the family. Later the day she once more joked about punishing me if I misbehaved. She did not notice my erection.

After the kids were in bed, we had our romantic evening. I pampered her like I had planned on Thursday. We also found time to talk about our argument. I asked her if she despised me for being submissive, to which she replied:

"No of course not. I love you and you may serve me."

While we were talking, she was lying on the couch, while I was sitting on the floor next to her. I told her that I would like to be naked while she is dressed.

"Then undress!" she ordered me. I was in heaven. Just to make sure that she did not misinterpret this, I said: "You don't have to do anything, we can just sit and talk."

To this she smiled and said "I don't intend to do anything. You will fuck me now."

Whow! How long have I be waiting for something like this? But I don't know why, I was foolish enough to ask her "May I lick you before I do that?" She agreed. So I went down on her, but soon she made it clear that she wanted me. While we were making love, I continued to talk about our new type of relationship. How stupid of me, but Princess was very patient today. I tried to last longer, but she ordered me to come. When we make love, she wants me to be her unrestrained animal.

Later she told me that I should not talk so much during sex. She was very kind and gentle, like a mother to her child: "When we make love, don't tell me about all the other things you want to do. Just fuck me."

I replied that these were the only times when we could actually talk about sex and I promised not to do it again. Then she smiled at me and said "And never lick me when I tell you to fuck me." I am such an idiot!

The weekend continued to be wonderful. Sunday night, I was scolded once more, but this time for not doing the laundry the right way. Princess thought it was still too damp for the closet. So I spent the evening ironing, while she was chatting with her friend on the phone. Later, she apologized for being so strict, and again I told her that it is her right to so. In bed, I held her in my arms while she caressed me for a long time. I did not expect any intimacy, because we had plenty of sex in the morning and during the weekend. But when I expected her to turn around she started to touch me. With slow and tender strokes, she made me hot. She got up and kissed the tip of my penis while slowly stroking it. Then she took me deep into her mouth. Then out again. It was heaven. Her strokes became faster, now moving hand and mouth. I was desperate to come. She moved up again, my penis slowly sliding out of her mouth. Another kiss on my purple tip and then she drop it. My erection was throbbing helplessly.

"Do you want me to leave you like this, or should I continue?" she asked.

"Do what you want to do"

"Then I will leave you like this. Good night"

I wanted to beg her to continue, but this time I resisted. Instead I asked "How do you feel about this?"

She answered: "I don't need sex as often as you do, so I have no problem to deny you occasionally."

Wife led marriage?

"Reading aroundherfinger.com was sort of like reading L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics, one of the canonized books of Scientology. In the beginning, the site talks about the woman taking the control in what would be traditionally described as the male role. I first bristled, then caught myself, thinking, “Hey, I can understand a man-led household based on ‘traditionalism,’ why can’t I accept a similar arrangement with the woman as the lead?” Despite my open mind, I quickly learned that “woman-led” was a euphemism. You see, according to this site, a woman-led relationship means that the woman uses domination, including punishments/rewards, with her husband. She controls every aspect of the relationship, and those activities that she chooses not to control are “delegated” to the husband, who is kept on a short leash, so-to-speak.

The most disturbing aspect, I think, is the use of sex and “orgasmic rewards” as a major motivator, like a Milk Bone to a Jack Russel terrier."

from http://howtobeaman.wordpress.com/2007/06/13/wife-led-marriage/

Life-Work Balance

A typical day:

• 6:30 The alarm clock rings. We cuddle and sleep some more before
• 7:00 we get up.
• 7:00-8:30 I shower, prepare breakfast, I get the kids ready and bring them to school or kindergarten. My wife drives to work.
• 9:00-18:00 I work until at 6pm I go home to send our house maid home.
• 18:00-19:00 I prepare dinner and eat with the kids.
• 19:00 My wife comes home and joins us for dinner
• 19:00-20:00 I get the kids ready, read them a good-night story and bring them to bed
• 20:00-21:00 Clean up the kitchen and most of the apartment
• 21:00-23:00 Relax with my wife. We talk, read, and, very rarely, watch TV
• 23:00 Bed time

Of course the exact times change from day to day, but this is our daily routine.

During the week we only have 1 or 2 hours alone. During this time we have to talk about the kid's school, our work situations and all the little things that you need to do to keep your household alife. By the time we are ready and relaxed enough to get intimate, we are usually too tired. My sex drive keeps me awake, but my wife is often too worn out. And so, over the years, we have neglected our relationship. We are not estranged, but our sex life often slips into a mechanical routine that neither of us enjoys.

I have often tried to break this routine by suggesting one romantic evening per week in which we leave the daily matters behind and concentrate just on us. My wife never liked the idea: "Romance is something spontaneous that you cannot plan" she always said. So eventually I dropped the issue altogether. I think she did not like the romantic evening, because for her it meant prescribed sex.

Recently, however, my wife controls the bedroom. She decides every aspect of our sex life and she loves it. I guess this has taken the tension of her. And now my wife has become sympathetic with the idea of a romantic evening. Last night she proposed to reserve Thursday nights for us. She knows that nothing must happen, but anything may.

Of course I am very anxious not to put any pressure on her. My wife wanted to know what I suggest for our first special evening. I said that I would love to just serve and pamper her. I would be her obedient slave that fulfills her every wish. While she relaxes on the couch, I would bring her drinks, massage her, make her life as sweet as possible.

"That sounds wonderful"

was her answer.

Later in bed, I held her in my arms while she gently caressed my erection. I wanted to know how much she is into her new role, so I said, referring to the organ in her hand,

"This is your personal property, you know?"

To which she replied

"Yes, I'm getting used to the idea."

She continued to caress me for a few more minutes, before she wished me good night and left me aroused and denied.

The following morning, I was sitting on our bed to get dressed and my wife returned from the shower. She stood before me and pulled my head towards her so that my face came to rest between her wonderful naked breasts. It was so exciting. She told me how much she loved me and as I started to kiss her breasts, she added

"Your breasts and my penis."

Obviously she has embraced the idea that she owns my genitals. I had to corrected her and said

"No my love. Your penis and your breasts."

After that she pulled me closer again and held me very tight. I have rarely felt so deeply in love.

Desperate

I have made it a habit to encourage my wife to make decisions and to remind her that she is my boss and the head of the family. If she asks me to do something I will stop what I am doing to execute her wish. When there is something to decide, I let her do it. Of course I will give her my opinion, but without implying a decision. This very hard at times, in particular if the decision seems obvious.

Recently, I observe that our relation is changing. There is an obvious shift in power, caused by my submission. My wife is more assertive than she used to be. She expresses her ideas and opinions with more self-confidence than before. She gets used to having the last word and I think by now she even expects it. She also gives me more assignments than before and expects me to execute them.

So my wife is assuming a more dominant role in our marriage and I she seems to enjoy it. But she is still far from being dominant. When she wants something done, she says it politely. The biggest improvement is that her questions have become statements. For example, she used to say something like "When you have time, would you mind bringing out the garbage?" Now she will simply state :"When you are finished with your food, please bring out the garbage." Usually, I will react immediately to encourage her to continue.

It is also important to my wife that I am not the only one who is doing house work. For example last night. While I was preparing our kids for bed, she vacuumed the apartment. Later, when I was ironing and she insisted on selecting and handing me the next piece of clothing. I guess, it takes more time before she enjoys the new freedom and relaxes on the couch while I do the work.

Our intimate life has definitely improved since I started my campaign. We actually make love more often than before, but now she initiates it. She decides if, when, and what we do in bed. I have no vote in the bedroom.

Last weekend, we made love three times. Every time, she insisted that I have an orgasm. When I tried to stop, she got very upset and scolded me: "I want you to cum when we make love. You told me that my pleasure comes first. You come for my pleasure, not yours! I will deny you at other times."

She did deny me during the week. She teased me Sunday night. More aggressive and forceful than ever. She gently stroke my erection, barely touching it. She did this for a long time. She knew that after a wile I like a firm grip, but she continued gently. Then, when I was not expecting it anymore, she took me deep into her mouth and quickly sucked be to the brink of orgasm. Then she stopped and kissed me passionately while firmly grabbing my balls. She kept her grip and started to bite my neck. I could feel her passion. It was all for her. Then she took me in her mouth again deep and slow. I was about to explode. I could feel that she wanted me to cum in her mouth and I would not resist. Suddenly, she got up and put on her pyjamas. I was floating. I was desperate.

"Did I stop too abruptly?" she asked after she got dressed. My head was dizzy, my mouth was too dry to answer . "Perfect", I croaked finally.

"Good! I only want to be sure that you are happy."
"I am! More than ever."

The next evening, she teased me again, and again she stopped when I was close to orgasm. But this time it was too much for me. I was desperate. After a few sleepless minutes in the dark, I begged her to continue. Without an answer, she turned around and finished me off. It took her less than a minute. Then, without another word, she switched off the light and turned around to slept. I had to clean up the mess in the dark. I felt so humiliated. First, because I begged and second because of the clinical routine and efficiency with which she did it. It was a clear message that she did not appreciate it.

I wished that she had said "No".