Shame on me

It is interesting how our expectations determine how we perceive an event or episode in our life. I am saying this, because of the nice comments I received on my last post.
In fact, during this episode, I could not fully enjoy the beauty of the moment, because I was so occupied with my own "script" for the session. I was constantly evaluating what Princess was doing. It is like watching a great movie and some voice inside your head keeps asking "how did they do this?".

Shame on me!

In retrospect, I realize that Princess is doing everything to please me. All she needs is an occasional night off, but all I am giving her is the feeling that she is not giving me enough!

Shame on me!

Today I read S's nice list of chores and I realized that Princess is doing much of this for me! How couldn't I notice?

For example, last Sunday she took both our kids out and I had the day just for me. It was the first time in months that I had the flat and the day just for me. I cleaned up a bit and then went for a nice long tour with my bicycle. But at the moment, I did not realize that Princess had arranged this for me. The original plan was that my son went to a birthday party of a friend. But then the friend's mother asked Princess to help out. Princess could just have gone, leaving our daughter with me. Instead, she took her along as well, giving me a day off.

Later, at night, she took initiative and gave me a wonderful blow-job. It was special, because she was obviously enjoying it as much as I did. She actually told me not to direct her in any way, because she wanted to "explore her desires". And this she did thoroughly.

Just before I came, she pulled away to watch me during my most private moment. And after I had recovered a bit, she reached for the tissues and cleaned me. She did it so tenderly and full of love, like a mother cleans her baby.

Is it possible that she wants to please me and to be at my service and that I simply don't know how to handle this?
I must re-focus on her desires - not so much on what I can do for her, but rather what I can be for her.

Self-control

The last weeks have been very hard for Princess. She was working long hours and did not sleep very well at night. I decided to give her some rest.
Last night, Princess was still very tired, but she felt obliged to give me at least a hand job. I really appreciate her eagerness to please me, but I decided that is is better for her to sleep.
She thanked me and fell asleep almost instantly.

The next morning, we woke up before the alarm clock and we used the time to cuddle and caress each other. She enjoyed it very much and proposed that we make love before we get up.
As a foreplay, I went down on her. Princess enjoyed my attention and moved her hips and pelvis to guide my tongue to the right places.
After a while she reminded me that I should stop now if we still want to make love. If I continue, she will come, but there won't be any more time for making love. If we make love now, I will come, but there won't be anymore time for her pleasure. Her orgasm or mine. I decided for hers.

Princess soon rewarded me with a strong orgasm. Then she relaxed. All the signs of stress and tension were gone from her face. She was calm and beautiful.
I didn't have an orgasm. I still enjoy my arousal which has not lost its intensity.

Self control is difficult, but it gives you pride and self confidence.
I know now that I can control both of us for our mutual pleasure.