What do you do when your Mistress is tired?

What do you do when your Mistress is too tired to dominate? When she is too exhausted to be interested in anybody else? I don't want to complain, yet sometimes I need to let off steam.

I must complain even though I know that it does not help. Complaining makes everything worse. It only increases frustration, because once I complain I pay more attention to the problem.

Princess started in her new job in January and she is still on probation. She works in a new field. On top of her work, she has to learn new things, get acquainted with new colleagues, and so on. She leaves the house at seven and is not back before seven. During the week, she does not get enough sleep. She is tired, moody, and what's worse, she wants nobody around. She wants to be left alone. Worst of all, when Princess is tired for a few days, she becomes depressed. By the end of the week she is a wreck.

I would be tired and exhausted, yet, I am rarely that tired. And, I have lots of other interests. I write, I draw, I take photos, I read books and most important, I care for my wife and my children. These things help me to relax. They divert my attention from the problems at work. These things are my other life, my real life, the life I love. Without these things I could not be productive and creative at work.

Princess has no other regular interests. When she comes home, she literally drops dead on our couch. No music, no TV. For the next hour she will not open her eyes. She will not move. She does not sleep, she is in a coma like state.. When she finally gets up, she will prepare for bed.

Princess is so burned-out that I wonder how this can continue. I wonder how I can help or support her. She does not want me around.

I don't see her when she is away and I don't see her when she is back. This is no wife-led marriage, this is not even a vanilla marriage. This is apartment sharing.

I think every couple has phases like this. Some couples have even more stress and strain than we do. I must not complain. I should be patient. I should focus on making her live easier. To help her relax. But how?

Last weekend we did not have much sex, because Princess was too tired. But we had some interesting conversations during the day. Princess told me how much she suffers under her current situation and how much she misses intimacy during the week.

At least I am not the only one who suffers. If we both agree that there is a problem, we can look for a solution.

How important is your sex drive?

My wife can go without sex for a long time. You can say she has a low sex drive. She has often denied me sex and I guess this has revived my dormant submissiveness.

I have written about my new goal to satisfy her in bed and to fulfill her wishes and fantasies. I think I am successful, because now whenever we have sex, I can feel and see that she enjoys it.

For example, last weekend she had two orgasms when we made love. It was the first time ever.
She started to initiate sex and asks me to make love to her more often. She says things like "We should do this more often" or "I need more sex". Instead of being denied she lets me cum in her mouth. In short, we have more sex and better sex.

So what about her low sex drive? Is it really important?
How much is the frequency of our intimate encounters actually determined by the sex drive?

I have developed a theory. It is probably wrong, but I like it and I will share it with you. Please feel free to disagree.

If your sex life is running at the frequency of her sex drive, she is probably not enjoying it.
Sex may then be just a bit better than the withdrawal symptoms.

If you stay with me for a while, I will try to elucidate my thinking.

There is a difference between how often I want sex and how often I need sex:

• I want sex, because I like it.
• I need sex, because of my sex drive, which in turn is upheld by my hormones.

My sex drive gives me the lower bound of my sex frequency. If I have less, I feel depressed. But long before I reach this lower bound I get restless and desperate.
How well I can cope with the withdrawal symptoms depends on the circumstances. For example, if my Princess is ill, I can tolerate the lack of sex more easily. I don't know my exact lower limit, but I think I need sex about once a week.

I want sex far more often than that. I want it three or four times a day. This was my masturbation frequency until I stopped about a month ago. Given the opportunity, I can increase the frequency up to my physical limits.

Why do I want more sex than I need? Because its fun. For me sex has always been great. No bad experiences and often I managed to get what I wanted. That's why I want more and more of it.

I think that

1. The amount of sex you need depends on your sex drive and how well you cope with withdrawal.
2. The amount of sex you want depends on the quality of your sex life and sexual history.

You can influence how often you have enjoyable sex. The better is gets the more you will have (up to a certain limit of course). But the inverse is also true. If your sex life is running at the frequency of her sex drive, she is probably not enjoying it. Sex may then be just a bit better than the withdrawal symptoms.