Our long vacation is over.
It is nice to be back again.
We are back at home and at least in bed we are back in wife-led mode.
Why? Because if I get to decide when we make love, I use every conceivable moment to do it.
For Princess this was simply too much. And curiously, it was too much for me, too.
I simply don't know what to do with my power to decide. I cannot use it wisely and with measure. Instead I jump at Princess whenever it is possible. Not because I want to, but because I can.
While we were at home, following our daily schedules, this was not a problem. But on vacation, where we saw each other every day, all day long, it became too much.
After two weeks of making love at least once a day, often twice, Princess became more and more upset. We discussed the issue, no, we had an argument over it. The argument ended without clear resolution.
Despite my inability to control myself, she still wanted me to decide when we are intimate, but not too often. How much is too often? I don't know. And she doesn't know. Inevitably, she will reject me sooner or later. But if I decide, I don't want to be rejected. I can't handle rejections when I am leading. I feel hurt and humiliated. I want to crawl back into slave mode immediately.
So I decided for myself to let her decide. I watch her body language and if I am 150% sure that she is in the mood, I will take initiative.
A few days later, when things had calmed down a bit, we talked everything over again, she surprised me with the offer that I still could make love to her any time (but not too often), and that I am still free to take anytime, even against her will. So no rejections, as long as I don't approach her too often?
So here i am, confused how we go on and without clear inner directive...
It is nice to be back again.
We are back at home and at least in bed we are back in wife-led mode.
Why? Because if I get to decide when we make love, I use every conceivable moment to do it.
For Princess this was simply too much. And curiously, it was too much for me, too.
I simply don't know what to do with my power to decide. I cannot use it wisely and with measure. Instead I jump at Princess whenever it is possible. Not because I want to, but because I can.
While we were at home, following our daily schedules, this was not a problem. But on vacation, where we saw each other every day, all day long, it became too much.
After two weeks of making love at least once a day, often twice, Princess became more and more upset. We discussed the issue, no, we had an argument over it. The argument ended without clear resolution.
Despite my inability to control myself, she still wanted me to decide when we are intimate, but not too often. How much is too often? I don't know. And she doesn't know. Inevitably, she will reject me sooner or later. But if I decide, I don't want to be rejected. I can't handle rejections when I am leading. I feel hurt and humiliated. I want to crawl back into slave mode immediately.
So I decided for myself to let her decide. I watch her body language and if I am 150% sure that she is in the mood, I will take initiative.
A few days later, when things had calmed down a bit, we talked everything over again, she surprised me with the offer that I still could make love to her any time (but not too often), and that I am still free to take anytime, even against her will. So no rejections, as long as I don't approach her too often?
So here i am, confused how we go on and without clear inner directive...
4 comments:
I call this a state of confusion with which I have much experience. My wife has a way of saying, "Just do it." When I do, I do it wrong. But I can't give up trying, because sometimes that is the only way I get anything. I have found that we can't change people in a significant way, at least not in a kind manner.
With respect to submission to a woman, the workable solution may be occasional play rather than her being in charge 24/7. I compare being in charge 24/7 to being a boss at work. After you initially overcome the euphoria of being in charge, you begin to dread going to work every day. At some point you envy the position of one of your underlings, but yet you know that you can never go back there. I can see why a woman would not want to be the boss in this sense.
*laughing*
Urmel you poor man, the classic conundrum. I would like to suggest you try a little experiment to chart Princesses monthly flow of desire.
So you could try it the medical way by charting the consistency of her vaginal juices. Or you could do it with a compulsory masturbation diary (the diary not the act). After a month or two you would be in possession of knowledge about how her desire ebbs and flows and then would know which weeks you could go like rabbits and which weeks require a lighter touch.
Thanks for your kind comments. They are so much appreciated.
SP: There is a lot of truth in what you say. At work I am leading a small team and often I find it difficult to motivate and lead my colleagues. To be a convincing leader, I always have to be two steps ahead. I must anticipate their concerns and I must already have an answer when they only think of a question.
In a relationship this is the same. To lead, I must be ahead of Princess.
Doll: I like you suggestion, but it leads to another conundrum. Princess claims that she does not masturbate. She also claims that she does not fantasize. So the diary would be empty. But then, I know that she has desires. I know that she thinks about us. If these thoughts are no fantasies what else are they?
Your suggestion to observe her vaginal fluids is an interesting one. Indeed, there are strong variations. Princess is never dry, but sometimes she is so wet that she is overflowing. It flows out of her like a little creek. And with each thrust of me, I literally pump the fluids out of her, leaving a huge puddle on the sheets. But it never occurred to me that the consistency of her fluids is related to her excitation...
There was a recent study released in Australia that showed around 50% of women masturbate regularly and the others never do so you are right a diary may not work in your case.
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